Heartbreak & Triumph

Doubts and Other Shenanigans

2011-10-03T21:23:00.004+08:00

Was doing some thinking as I laid back (or failed to do so) on a 98 degree upright chair, with the air temperature probably around nine degrees. No lie, it is 9 degrees right now.

Anyway, was thinking about doubts and stuff along that line. The previous week were full of doubts; stuff like, "What if I can't do the test?", "What if she doesn't feel the same way?" and even "What if they don't miss me?" . At first, I thought it was just me being selfish, always thinking about what's in it for me. And that was basically true, it was just me finding problems out of nothing, and it got the better of me (to a certain extent).

Sometimes doubts can be seen as shadows casted out by some figment imagination that we create when everything seems to be going well. Can you believe that, we even question when things DO go well. Yeap, you're right, I have no idea as to where I'm going with this post. Haha

But as I was sitting out on the balcony, taking time to just stop worrying about everything, I asked for a reason certain specific doubts ever came to be in the first place. I was met with an answer: A guy came out of nowhere singing, "Here I Am To Worship ".

Dude had some mighty faith... Back to the point..

The guy showed me more in 5 seconds of listening to him than in the past 7 days I was wondering why I was filled with all these doubts.

I had no faith in the future, and that I cared too much about what people thought about me.

So, I guess doubts will always be there so as long as there is something good going for anyone. The important thing is to go with the flow and let everything happen because it's suppose to, and not because of what we perceive as "should happen". And who cares about what other people think about us? If everybody tried to follow people's expectations, what's there left for people like them to do anyway? Whether they miss me or not, when I get back there, I know I'll be welcomed back, and good times will roll.

As for the doubt about mutual feelings, I can't say much about that anymore and I think I'm done questioning every aspect about it. But damn, she looked beautiful today. Technically, today is a new day already, so what i meant was yesterday. Uh, stupid DST...

"A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts"

2011-10-02T06:52:00.007+08:00

Call it what you want, but this is what it is for what it is. Confusing much? Yeap. LOL. Anyway, here we go again. Read this, and decided to re-post it, seeing as though I hardly ever post anything up anyway.

I'll tell you one thing that you might not know that I know.

Your eyes are brown.

Your personality is verging on whack crazy meets fact sheets that you sometimes share and then stop mid-way because you think it makes you sound like a nerd.

Your laugh is beyond this world and is one of the most attractive things about you.

Your tongue is sharp, but you still make your words as kind as possible. You don't see a lot of that nowadays, and that's something to be appreciated.

Everything about you is not what it seems to be; many people don't see the real you, but sometimes, I'd like to say that I do.

That's why i don't understand the reason you say that you're fat or that you talk too much. It's honestly every thing that makes me smile when I think about you.

But out of all the things that I've written, I always, always go back to your big, brown eyes. As corny as this whole thing is, it's about to get worse: God definitely must have spent a little more time on you.

All this I know, when your brown eyes looked into mine.

Anyway, I'm done and slightly hungover. Goodnight.

The 50 Eight Year Old Man

2011-05-27T12:17:00.005+08:00

It's been a good couple weeks since I've written anything in here. School work and work has been taking up most of my free time, but it feels great to finally say that most of it has been finished and now I can finally post something new up.

And posting something on this particular day makes this post even more special.

I've tried constructing sentences to open the post, but it usually ends with frantic backspacing.

In short, it's my Dad's birthday today.

The Gemini. I think a friend of mine once told me that Geminis were very hot tempered or something, and my Dad was no exception. It was so easy to tick him off (ask my sister) and that temper instilled fear into the people he worked with.

Despite all that fear, nobody doubted who Thomas Song was. Yes, he was a hot head, but he always came through. i would go to the place he worked and people would still be talking about him; about the great person he was. One account was that he came in early one time, and sat at the reception desk, which was facing the doors to the company. As the employees of the company came in, he would greet them one by one with a smile. For those who came late, let's just say they didn't get such a warm greeting as the others.

Yes, people knew him as the manager of a company, that one guy you don't fuck around with. People might say that they know him, but I can guarantee that they never had the chance of knowing him like how my family and I did.

To me, he was Dad.

In a time when everything was more simple, when the most worrisome thought my generation had was whether the school's computer lab would allow us to play Red Alert 2, I knew for a fact that when that school bell rang, I was coming home to rest, and come 5.00pm, I would always expect a call from a father who had been working 8 hours and still wanted to know if the family needed anything before coming back home to a hug and a kiss from them.

He would sit at the dinner table, without his shirt (LIKE A BOSS) and would listen to my mother talk. He would then proceed to break his silence by asking me how was my day. After dinner, he gets cleaned up and finishes up any work brought back from home and proceed to his bed where he would watch the news and proceeds to fall asleep within the following five minutes, only to wake up and hug me and my mom before proceeding to go back to his dream.

During the weekends, he would check his email to read the word of God and sometimes he'd share something with me(if i wake up as early as he does). the family would then go to the market where he'd just buy a shit ton of stuff and the rest of the afternoon would consist of him, my mom and our maid cooking a storm up. Dad never understood what "more than enough" meant when he cooked for us, so my mum would always have to eat extra to ensure the fridge would never overfill. the evenings would consist of him taking time out with the family, or call my sister who at the time was in Australia. We'd pass the phone around, he'd never not show a smile on his face when he sees one of us talking to her.

During the last few days of 2002, things were not looking up. I saw my father walk down a couple of stairs, pale and tired. Yet, he still took us out to see the capital. Though tired and in pain, he still brought us shopping at an adjacent mall. he'd tell me "Go and see the toys. I sit here for a while".

When 2003 arrived, he told us, "I'd never think I'd see 2003". No one can imagine the sadness we all felt as he said that. But the good Lord gave him a couple more days, and that was all anyone of us could ever ask for.

The last few days I was so worried that everytime he'd fall asleep in his chair, I'd go up to him to see if he was still breathing.

He was able to witness my mum get another year older before he went back Home. And, honestly, ever since then, life changed.

He would've been 58 today. I wouldn't even be in Kuching anymore if he was here.

I apologize if I'm bumming you guys out, but loss like this, never heals over time. 8 years on and it still hurts. Angels like him never really stay on Earth too long anyway. I guess everything happens for a reason. I would've never become the person I am if it wasn't for him. 11 years having a father like that, and he has taught me so many things. And he's an amazing father and always will be one. I mean, seriously, if there was a Fathers Hall of Fame, he would be in there.

He died a man with many illnesses, but he lives on as the best father anyone could ever ask for. He got me playing an instrument I can;t seem to get enough of anymore, he got me a life growing up I could only dream of, but most importantly, he gave me himself; a guy who said,"Screw you stereotypical strong father image never shows love for anyone" and showed his family that he loved them every single day he was blessed to walk this Earth.

Happy birthday Dad

My gift to you is to promise you that God willing I get to have my own family, I will become a father just as kick-ass as you were.

I love you.

Friendboat, geddit? *derp

2011-04-22T09:17:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!

First off, seeing it's 22/4 where I'm at, Happy Good Friday! Read an interesting re-tweet this morning and it went something like ow we don't see the good in bad circumstances, and he related it to Good Friday, and it kinda made some sense. I don't know, thought I'd share that with you guys.

Anyway, thought'd I'd touch on friendship today. BTW, did anyone get the title? No? LOL.

Friendships are among the many things in life that keep us sane. You can have a bad day and these amazing group of people can instantly cheer you up without them knowing about it. Whether it's friends from elementary school, high school, college or even someone you thought you'd have a connection with on a friend-friend basis.

But as you enter a new phase in life, specifically adulthood, life forces us to abandon the comfort zone we grew up in and it generally affects the friendships we have with said friends. Let's be honest guys, how many of us have actually kept contact with our friends from our high school days/ college days?

You can say that it is part and parcel of life, but some people do let go of friendships for all the wrong reasons.

I just don't understand why or how some people can forget their friends when things get better for them, ya know?

Is it really human instinct to let go of something good and beautiful when you have a deal to get paradise? Or in this case a better friend? I never intended to make this post about me, but as I think about it, I know for a fact that I'm not a perfect friend but I make damn sure that none of my friends get left behind no matter what circumstances. Sure, it'll take a while for it to hit me that I should whenever I am out and I see two or three people missing from the group, but I will.

And it sucks to lose a really close friend to such a situation. At the end of the day, all we can do is make a decision: be loyal and wait it out as the pain carries on with you OR call them out and move on. Either way, it will suck balls deep.

TO whoever is going through this problem, this is for you:

"You are amazingly beautiful. You want to know the reason? The fact that you took the time to realize what is going on with your friend, searched for your current situation on a search engine and got this half-butt explanation post about it means that you care, even if you were blog jumping and read this. And for that, you're just amazing. Times are hard now, BUT it will end. Just remember, it's hard to see the good in the bad circumstances. So, take this time, go out, party (responsibly if you're old enough), have fun. And eventually, you'll find the strength (which is NOT FOUND AT THE BOTTOM OF A BEER BOTTLE or cig stick) to find a solution to the problem. But the important thing is to know that you're definitely not alone in this. I mean hey, if this sad sack of poop can get through this, the chances of you getting through it too is off the charts high. =)"

I don't care if I seem like a dumbass, writing all this, expecting people to comment and give it good reviews, I really don't. I felt like shiz when I thought I was losing my close friend and I only wished someone said the above to me. And you know what, you guys deserve to be told that. So, any life I managed to make feel better, even just for the time they had their browser on the blog, it's better than all the followers, good reviews and spam messages in my chat box combined.

Thanks guys :)

seriously, did anyone get the title? :(

NumNumNumNum

2011-04-08T21:07:00.003+08:00

Judging by some of my more recent posts, one can say that it has indeed been a weird 2011 thus far. I'm not going to bitch and moan about how how so-and-so fucked up this-and-that

I know what you're thinking..."thank God it's not another post about you being all sad and shit"

(skip to *** section if you do not wish to read explanation of sad days)

I guess everybody has their terribad days. There's only so much one person can take, and if it means that he or she has to vent out some emo post every once in a while to sustain a sense of mental sanity, so be it, right? Hell, that's one of the many reasons why people create blogs anyway: to say something, without actually literally saying it, ya know?

And who is anybody to say "ohh, you can't type that kind of sad stuff on the Net, bleurgh huh...*derp". If you don't like content from a certain blog, then just don't read it. Don't have to be a troll. SO, I implore anyone to use their blogs the way they see fit, bearing in mind the obvious set of COMMON SENSE RULES.

***

With that being said, I got another thing to type out.

While I was going through the whole, terrible feeling phase for about the first three months of 2011, I was obviously sort of depressed. I would get up from bed pretty early to do some stuff, come back, surf the Web, if not, I would be in classes, eat lunch, eat dinner and go to bed. While each of these activities happen, I couldn't help but feel angry and sad. I was confused and utterly disappointed in finding myself in this predicament.

Zoom to April, and things are a lot better now. Things with friends, things with university stuff, mostly all important aspects of my life are doing pretty well. Occasionally, factors which come from the outside will piss me off and, honestly, I kinda find myself not being as easily agitated. at all.

I had a fight with someone recently, and that led to the post below this one. Despite pulling off an image of myself being very down, I could not really feel angry or bothered by it, or at least not as much as I thought I would be bothered.

That's when I start to wonder, after months of crazy sadness, combined with the random packets of sadness I have encountered over the past 19 years, have I finally turned into someone who has become somewhat numb towards emotional issues?

Don't get me wrong, if someone I know is having a bad day and wants to find me for comfort, I'll be their awesome teddy bear, I'm just saying like, numb towards my own emotional woes, ya know?

It is sort of a good thing. I wouldn't have to get pissed off every time something bad happens anymore and I guess I can control my temper a bit better. The cons is that I may not be able to take certain stuff as serious as they should be taken anymore.

Maybe it is too soon to tell whether this numbness will stay or go away. Like I've said, the past few days have been good. But one thing is for sure, instead of wondering too much about this numbness, I'll just get to steppin' with life, see where it goes and if I learn something along the way, I'll be sure to share it over here.

Have a good weekend guys!

Will post something else soon. Thanks for reading!

Slow Ride, Take It Easy

2011-04-04T23:37:00.004+08:00

Recently, I've been feeling as though time has been passing really slowly.

What does this say about me?

I would text a friend and it will feel like an hour until I receive a reply from the dude, and it was actually more like 5 minutes ago.

Someone once told me that when time passes us by quickly, it's usually because we're busy doing something and with all that concentration on said task, we never realise how much time we spend on it.

So, judging by this theory, it only makes sense if time slows down because there's nothing to do?

I've been doing a couple assignments for my course, and have been keeping myself busy with random activities, and yet, it doesn't feel as though time is moving fast at all.

It's not that I don't enjoy all these activities, I kinda do.

Then I wonder whether I even want time to move by me faster. I mean, I'm leaving in a couple months for a new place, not really looking forward to what is in store in terms of education stuff, in the near future and a few other things.

Perhaps my mind is playing tricks on me or something. It's been pretty effed up lately.

Been a couple rough weeks. Things have been getting slightly better, but nonetheless..

Never have I felt this powerless, this unmotivated to do anything, and honestly, it bothers me.

What does this say about me?

I don't know, all I need right now is either a warm bed and a nice cool room or a nice hug.

The hug sounds better. Lol.

What Matters

2011-04-01T19:30:00.002+08:00

how all that matters is a love ever after

Every Time You Run - Manafest feat. Trevor McNevan

2011-03-25T22:56:00.001+08:00

Every time you run away, every time you hide your face,

And it feels so far away, I'm right here with you.

What Kills.

2011-03-24T21:07:00.006+08:00

It sucks when a girl is standing at the corner and does not have a group for an assignment.

It sucks when i see a man cry, be it in the movies or in real life.

It sucks to see a son and a father smile at each other.

It sucks to see other friends talk and boast about their relationship while i listen and ONLY listen.

It sucks to hear a friend complain that the games on their new consoles are loading slowly when most people don't even have a Play Station 1.

Despite having many things that suck (*insert inappropriate joke hereee),

The only thing that kills me is to see you say you're fine when you're not and not be able to do anything about it.

yyyeahh, you're probably telling yourself "Geez, I'm fine already. It was nothing much what."

But lately, it has felt as if I've lost my temper and my mojo (wtf), and most importantly the connection I had with you.

whatever it is, you have an extra set of

ears,

hugs,

jokes,

songs,

phone call minutes,

hours,

yogurt,

visits,

lungs,

Skype calls,

crazy times

if you need them.

and you'll always have someone to catch you,

or at least try to, fall on the floor as well and laugh my ass off with ya.

Bad Times Are Rollin' Like a Mother..

2011-03-16T23:03:00.002+08:00

It's come to the point where I'm turning into the person I hate.

I feel like a total jackass right now.

Perhaps I'm overlooking a situation that actually is not harmful to anyone. Or maybe I'm not taking it seriously enough. meh.

All i know is that the days are getting longer, shenanigans are getting stupider by the day and i don't know who to turn to anymore.

feels as though i've lost my faith, some friends and ultimately, myself.

but I guess everything happens for a reason right?

It's hard to stay optimistic when you can't even give yourself a reason to be.

i'll try again later.

With Auburn

2011-03-09T18:19:00.006+08:00

I have been searching far and wide for this.

Wrote it back in March 2010.

Very amateur English (terri-bad). But nonetheless, from the sincerest corner in my heart.

Her eyes, filled in with auburn,
A color so often shun upon,
Yet through her eyes, you find a reason,
To see through the colour and notice the person.

Her eyes, they tell so many stories,
Her moments in life, her defeats, her glories.
The eyes they tell she has wept many tears,
Caused by the tongues of her enemies,
and of the gift of laughter she received from her peers,

Her eyes, they will en-cage you with every brush,
Of her eyelashes, bringing your chatty self to a humble hush,
A practice she does, very, very well,
With a stare into her eyes,
from your body the Devil she expels,

Her eyes, they sparkle at the sight of twilight,
The same goes when she closes her eyes for the night,
All this I can only imagine, all this I have learned,
From the girl who has eyes, filled in with auburn.

2011-03-07T22:03:00.001+08:00

he wants to stop but he can't ...

he just tries to look for reaons ...

he is not the one that broke her,

not the one she has to fear...

but things go in this way...

the fear is the worst thing that two lovers can face,

he just tries to look for reasons

Here Is Gone - Goo Goo Dolls

Pretty good stuff right there.

Dream-mare

2011-02-12T18:07:00.002+08:00

Damn, I had this pretty bad dream where I had to send a friend off to KL.

For those who don't know, KL City is the capital of the country I'm currently living in.

Now normally, be it in a dream or reality, I wouldn't get emotional when someone leaves no matter how close they are to me. But in this dream, i could not come to bring myself to not be sad, cause for some reason, I knew that I was pretty much losing my friend with every step she takes into the terminal. It just felt as though she was going on to start a new life and I was going to be left behind as just a memory.

I guess it was just one of those dreams where you never want to have and dread waking up from because of the panic, heart-throbbing feeling you get once you do.

My question is:

Are dreams a way of bracing ourselves for something bigger in the future or just a fictitious story created by our mind inspired by what we truly desire and dread?

Keeping Quiet - Jesse Song

2011-01-26T21:21:00.003+08:00

It's been a while since I actually uploaded anything onto YouTube with me doing any guitar-ing. Pretty sure that's not a word. BUT anyway, do check this out. And yeah. :)

HAPPY AUSTRALIA DAY!

Reason

2011-01-21T07:19:00.000+08:00

At times it does feel like things are a lot worse than they seem. Situations that once never bothered you is now sticking out like a needle pierced into your back. Ow right?

But there is a reason for everything. When things get bad, I try to tell myself that.

I know someone who has feelings for a girl. He would do anything for her, ya know. And these are his words: My heart jumps every time I see her name on my phone. Words don't do justice as to what happens when I actually see her.

Lately, he's been feeling very unmotivated to try start something with her. It's not to say they were or weren't signs that the attraction was mutual. He just wonders whether it was still worth it to have feelings for her only to have the repercussions lash back at himself.

And no, the girl is not a b**ch that is playing with him.

When he told me this, I couldn't give him a straight answer. Who am I to give advice to anyone regarding this kind of issue? If anything, I should be the one getting the advice!

He's been crushing on this girl for quite a while now and to have to go down the road of "should I" or "should I just walk away", it's not an easy one. Some of you guys might be saying, "Oh, it's easy. Move on. There's other fish in the sea. It's not like he was with her anyway". The heart wants whatever the hell the heart wants. And it is stubborn.

That's when I began to wonder if the only way out of situations like this is really through getting heartbroken.

Not everybody likes to hear the truth ( as proven by heart being stubborn part) .But if it's forced down our throat, would that really help? In this case, sure, he'll feel sad and miss her, but maybe, just maybe, he might pull off becoming a much more happier person at the end of it.

Can't be worse than seeing him see her every once in a while and noticing how sad he gets because of said situation right?

I guess everybody has their own way of dealing with problems. But the only thing anyone should ever remember is that if anything happens, it never happens for no reason. And no matter how painful it is to realize whatever that reason may be, it promises to make us better than we were before. Even if it kills us a bit at the beginning.

The Art of Falling

2010-12-23T00:30:00.000+08:00

One day I decided to walk out on my old bad habits

The exact day I realised that it's been a day too long being this tripped up in seclusion.

That was the day i stumbled upon you.

And it took a couple more days to realize I've fallen for you.

it's funny how gravity gets worked up in all of this.

even when everything is telling me to just walk away.

Admitting is Half the Battle.

2010-12-14T00:18:00.001+08:00

It may be a sense often underestimated, but the one the Queen does best without trying is captivate me with her scent.

and then, her smile takes control.

yeah, i'm in love.

Those Nights

2010-12-12T01:32:00.000+08:00

Pretty sure everybody has had their fair share of terrible nights. You know, the nights where you cannot stop thinking about something bad or the night where you had a major fight with your significant other. Sometimes you just cannot stop yourself from thinking about the bad memory or experience over and over again.

All that thinking may lead to some outburst of emotion eventually, but most of the times, after that brief adrenalized segment, we get tired and just fall to sleep. Call it a science process, but I like to think of it as our mind's way of giving us a free pass and letting us get through the night by sleeping it off.

For me, I'm not sure if I take this way too seriously, but, I also look at it as a way to just run away from acknowledging that: "Hey, it's not gonna be a good night because so and so. So instead of thinking about it, try get some sleep and tomorrow may be better". Yes, running away doesn't solve anything, but when you know that the reason you're down is coming from something that's gonna happen then and there whether you like it or not, what choice could you think of? I mean, realistically (and probably synical?) the problem has weakened your mind somewhat, so would you have the strength to go on to better things on that particular night?

I'm just saying. Life is unfair. And our mind knows that. So maybe in some way, the mind protects us from harm "subconcsciously". I mean, heck, the mind is known for protecting us by sometimes letting us see or hear things we only want to see or hear as opposed to reality, ya know? I know "subconcsiously" is spelled wrongly and is probably not the right word. Forgiveness

Bottom line is personally I do not know whether this is a blessing in disguise to get through the night, or just another cheap way of finding a way around a problem. Even worse, a problem that kills me 'cause i know it's out of my hands.

It's always the nights that get you.

2010-12-08T21:03:00.000+08:00

I always forgot if we were allowed a wish during Christmas or New Year.

Either way, my wish for this year's Christmas?

Same thing as last year's.

Please? okay.

2010-12-04T18:37:00.001+08:00

Never has 8 words made anything seem as impossible as they have now.

The Greatest Gift You Could Give Anyone is Yourself

2010-11-21T08:05:00.000+08:00

To love someone, and I mean, really love someone, is to swallow that damn pride of yours and put their happiness before yours. And even if you don't and can't show it, show it through the small things, be it a hug when he/she needs it, splurging on something they'd enjoy eating, or just spending some time with them without expectations, if you know what I mean.

The greatest gift you could give anyone is yourself, wholeheartedly.

I know I've repeated this little fact a thousand times on my blog. But human being human, we tend to forget these simple sentences.

A public service announcement paid by the Monopoly Bank.

2010-11-20T00:14:00.000+08:00

We delight in the promise of falling for love.

We crumble in the dread of falling from love.

Everything falls.
Everything falls.

emotion constipation

2010-10-31T22:03:00.000+08:00

tumblr

2010-10-24T08:18:00.001+08:00

I never really understood what love meant until I met this one couple.

They had been one since 2006(?) and they've loved each other like I've never seen before. Yeah, they had their share of fights and the occasional "we need a break" moments but what made me learn more about love is the fact that they always got together every time.

I guess it kind of makes sense sometimes. If you love somebody and you guys are taking some time off, you would want to get back together should the opportunity present itself.

I think it's pretty sweet.

But after hundreds of days, sometimes realizing that it's a done deal is probably better, scratch that, it IS better. It'll hurt but every thing doesn't happen for no reason right? For my case, i think I'm just gonna stand there and watch me burn my bad...

I'm just gonna have to deal with the fact that I'm probably going to love this girl for the rest of my life. It sounds like a burden, but trust me, the only burden is that it's not mutual. Sure, I may find someone new, but I'll always love her. Damn sure about that.

If it's anything that couple taught me about love, is that love is to put your lover's happiness before yours.

There's just so much someone can do...

2010-10-17T14:36:00.001+08:00

...sometimes you just have to leave the rest to music.

The highest rated comment says it all: 4 minutes and 44 seconds in Heaven.

Click ME

A Closet (Good) Friend

2010-08-12T22:48:00.000+08:00

Lately there's been so much going on around town. I can say the same thing when it comes to my life at the moment. Been inspired by a number of things to TRY another number of things (all legal btw) and to see things from a different perspective.

There's been a lot of good times and there have been crappy ones too, but what I realise is that after focusing so much time in the past on the bad memories, it is hard to look at the positives. It's like how some clouds block out the Sun sometimes. But as time goes, so do the clouds, and everything begins to feel okay again.

One of the things that has been nudging me a little is, I kinda miss a friend of mine. But I can't tell her that 'cause it'll be weird, you know? I know it's a pretty immature thing to say, but it's true for the most part of it. I mean, the friendship we have is different to say the least. There's a lot of restriction as to maintaining the friendship, It basically sucks. Kinda.

This is stupid. It sounds as if it's more than a friendship but I swear it isn't. I just miss a friend who probably isn't reading this, and I can't tell her because it's already not that likely to bump into 'er randomly.

It would've been a lot simpler if I never...

The cloud breaker for this segment of my rant is that when I do get to see her, and I'm not just saying this, my heart jumps a little. It's always nice to see a friend after not having to talk to her in a while.

I guess it just comes down to whether going through hail and rocks for the friendship is worth it. But we can't really let our emotions get to us and that's easier said than done sometimes. The best shot we have if we let our emotions control us is that at the end of the day, we're still holding on.

Titlelessness

2010-08-02T22:32:00.000+08:00

I’ve got another confession my friend
I’m no fool
I’m getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best of you?

Silver Lining

2010-05-17T16:48:00.000+08:00

It's amazing to see how much someone has changed, post-secondary/high school days. The smartest kid in class, now in college, still smart and in a relationship, the girl who kept the most quiet in class, just seen hanging out with 6 people at the mall or even the bully of the class, now a respected college mate trying to make ammends for the suffering he or she has caused.

I guess the reason I gave such a long-winded example was because I was not nor am I now, am not sure on how to put what I want to share with the interweb into words.

The past couple weeks have been very challenging to say the least. With each waking hour of a new day, I am constantly reminded of the nearing due dates of an assignment, the problems my friends have with each other or even the fact that it's tough being single again.

I do want to talk about it with my close friends, and believe you me, I have an awesome group of good friends, but what's to say when you can't even begin a blog post about the particular topic, let alone talk about it with a friend, ya know?

Keeping it to myself was always a self-thought virtue I managed to instill over the course of 6 years.But I guess it reached the tipping point a couple hours ago. I'm not going to do anything drastic, don't worry cause my faith has kept me from it. I'm just hoping that by writing all of this, someone out there will relate to it and hopefully by tomorrow, this nagging feeling will disappear and I will be all better again.

I guess you can say it is stress that's spearheading this feeling, and I honestly couldn't care less. Honestly, writing about it is making me feel a bit better already. This isn't the first time the feeling's come around for a visit. It's a bad habit.

But a lesson comes out of this, in a way. No matter how much someone changes over the course of however long, old habits die hard. Sometimes it's okay to leave them be, it's what reminds you that you're only human.

peace.

My Mum's Present

2010-05-09T20:54:00.000+08:00

Treated Mum to some German food. Didn't know the chef was German until I saw his ~~belly~~ face and he said "strauss!". I have no idea what that means but... I'm pretty sure that means something in German.

We were actually pretty lucky. Got a seat near the window despite the whole restaurant practically being reserved by families in hopes of tasting Chop Chop Chop. I remember the first time going to that restaurant, was with some of the guys from my secondary school. Managed to eat only two chops.

So anyway, while waiting for the food, got some time to talk to my mum. It was good to ya know, just randomly talk about anything, be it about my Indian lecturer, my family, her work, all that stuff.

I'm glad tonight was how the way it was.

Despite waiting a long ass time, it just reminded me to treasure the moments like the 2 hours my mum and I just went on and on about everything.

I kinda like to think that the meal that I paid for wasn't the real present that I gave my mum today.

It was more so making my mum laugh and smile tonight that was the present. :)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL.

What Was On The Shirt

2010-04-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

Today was rather eventful. Apart from realising that I can't even form a proper grammar-free sentence at first try anymore, I celebrated a friend's birthday, in which I believe was definitely somewhere in the top five birthday celebrations he's ever had.

If you're reading this dude, happy birthday...again. Remember what I said about being allowed to fuck up for one more year before turning 20. :)

anyway

Was looking for a shirt to go out, and then I saw my old Form 5 uniform, the one a lot of people signed on during the last OFFICIAL DAY of Form 5 2008. It's always been there but after the last day of secondary school, I guess I never took the time to just look at it and read what people wrote.

Then i came across what a friend who was very close to me wrote.

Below the initials, it read, "I'm sorry for everything. Be well in life. Hope we meet again.".

You have to know that our relationship was totally torn apart ever since the PMR days because we didn't treasure it as much as other silly things. But after reading that, I just, :)

It kinda made me realise one thing too.

Making friends, some people may say it's easy. But finding real friends you can talk with, that's like finding a needle in a haystack. So when you do find it, you should hold on to it. I know some people who find it and unconcsiously let it go because of different reasons. And to say that true friends will be there for you no matter what is true, but let's face it, true to a certain extent. Eventually, best friends do become nothing but a memory if there isn't much contact. It only works if the two sides work together to keep the ship chugging along.

I guess for my case, I honestly say I fucked up the friendship just as much as the person did, and if i had to go back and change one thing, it would be the minute I told myself that it was going to be worth it to screw everything up.

Finding someone who isn't your supposed other half but makes you happy for the most part is already hard enough. Why waste it on anything that equates to nothing when it's sized up with your friendship?

All this gets me thinking about how much I care for the few good friends I was lucky enough to make. Eventhough i don't show it, you guys should know that it's each and everyone of you that keeps me smiling and gives reason to each and every one of it. If there were times where I made you doubt that i was not there for you, i did not know you anymore or just merely gave you a hard time, I am sorry. Know that y'all are always in my thoughts.

Friendship, Nothing Less, Nothing More.

2010-04-09T15:45:00.000+08:00

i'm gonna say this once, so read properly. get off your high horse and realise that whenever it's up to me, i'll always choose making you happy over anything else. 'cause being there for you seems like the only thing i can do right while being with you makes it feel like there's nothing wrong. acting like an idiot, accepting who you are, making a fool out of myself, it's justifiable 'cause you fooled me into caring about you. there.

aren't you just so screwed? :)

What I Got Out From March

2010-04-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

Just finished downloading season 4 of Scrubs. It's nice to watch a series or a show that you can just enjoy and in some way learn something from it too. For me, Scrubs has always been that one show that teaches me more about life than any other 20-minute show.

For the past couple of weeks, been hollering my ass back to school life and I still can't find that motivation to just sit and study without having to be rescued by damn social networking sites. But life after school wasn't going all too grand. I mean, I'd come back from campus and I'd be too damn tired to do anything else, let alone homework! And personal-stuff wise, it wasn't going so well either.

I guess to sum it up, while March was kinda unexpected in terms of crazy stuff happening, it came along with moments that I wanted to highlight and delete the crap out of it. I needed to think things through, manage time to balance out student life, work life and enjoying my last legit year as a teenager.

One of the things was a looping unexplainable moment I had. But after days of thinking it through, I just realised today that all that hype of hoping something more shall we say, "exciting" would happen i was making myself believe in, it was just BS. I'm a firm believer that sometimes our mind protects us from realising the truth by giving us some sort of false hope to hang on. In the end, I just feel like I never really really cared about stuff that way. It's good tho', I mean, I can finally move on with the next part of life.

When I thought things couldn't get better, it surprisingly did. The thing I learned about facing problems that keep coming back to haunt you is to never let it get to you too deep. No point keeping it to yourself, cause it's more likely that once you go to bed with the last thing on your mind being about that problem, you're prolly gonna wake up thinking about it before you get the patented morning bone-- nvm.

Everything else just comes as it is. It's just a matter of how you deal with each of them, one at a time. And it doesn't matter if you can't win all your battles. At the end of the day, it's the little victories you were able to get by with that should carry you on to see the next day.

I've always said this to people close to me, and most of them think I'm an ass for saying it. LOL. But nothing worth having ever comes easy anyway. So if we can at least acknowledge that it's worth going through all the problems, and feeling happy that we managed to survive the day, no matter how bad, well I guess that makes for a pretty good little victory for the day to me.

crapthispostiswordy.

Truth

2010-03-21T23:49:00.000+08:00

Despite you being you,
I love you,
Just because.

-~~Homer Simpson~~

iseriouslydo.

WARNING: MY MOST SELF-OBESESSED POST EVER.

2009-11-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

Call me crazy, but I've been thinking a lot about death lately. Not because I find death fascinating, but honestly, just because I'd like to see, from a very selfish point-of-view, how'd things be on this earth if I went to sleep and woke up in Heaven or Hell.

I know I know, things would prolly still stay the same, but if I'd die tomorrow, or anytime in the short-term future, would I actually be able to say that, "hey, I enjoyed what I had on Earth"?

My answer is at the moment, EFFING YES.

~~Bet you thought it was gonna be an emo post.~~

I'm actually fortunate enough to meet so many people from different backgrounds and yet we all still can unsurprisingly get along just like that. I've met douchebags too la, but hey, I'm not complaining. Those people should be credited 'cause i model myself to not be like 'em anyway.

I've gone through both success and epic fails, but most importantly, I made such a crapload of mistakes on the way, and believe you me, there's bound to be bigger mistakes up ahead. Though I may regret making a couple of those really insanely pimple-size mistakes, I swear that after going through them, I'd never ever do the same mistake twice. EVER. Fo shizzle your mom's nizzle.

And the love I felt and gave to the people I know, I know that all the people I know that they will always be there, one way or another, as I will be for them.

I'm posting this very confusing post up because I saw sooooo many stars just now at some place. It was inspiring enough to reflect back on what I already went through, and I can't wait for what's in store.

But if the good lord says that I've served my purpose on Earth and is called back Home, know that I am content with my life, and whatever mere things I did to make you guys smile, even if it was for one damn minute

For My Father

2009-10-18T00:51:00.000+08:00

"I love you son"

"I know dad. You tell me everyday"

That was a quite from the movie Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs. Movie was overall good, filled with funny scenes, along with Disney's always-close-to-perfect "aww"-themes that they always instill in their movies. Seriously tho', I think the art work and graphics were just superb.

After sitting in Hall 2 for approximately one and a half hours watching the movie, I ~~realised~~ started to think of my dad and how much I miss him. Not to say i don't miss him on a daily basis lah, but it never struck out that much until tonight. I guess after watching sooo many movies with father-son related themes wihtout feeling too much sorrow, this one broke the camel's back. ( or whatever the saying is)

I don't really know what to say when people start to ask when people ask me how does my dad go to work if I drive my car to uni, let alone talk about my father. LOL. I know it sounds pathetic, but I always pause to choose my words carefully. Even now, I'm sort of struggling to put words that will fit the frame as to what I want to say tonight. So, here it goes.

Dad,
It's been many years already since you went on to live in Paradise. And yet, the hole you left in mummy, Jojo and my lives still remain. No one ever failed to remind us of the man you built yourself to be within the 49 years, 8 months and 24 days you were put on this realm of Man's first life.

Went to watch Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs last night with a few friends. And there was a character that reminded me so much of you.

He wanted the best for his child,

just as you did.

He woke up everyday and told him that he loved his son,

just like you did...

He put his own health and life before the security of his family,

just as you did...

He always made sure he let his son know he loved him every single day,

just like you did.

I remembered one of the last things you told me. You were lying down on the sofa in our house, when you asked me to come over. Mom was sitting on the bed, listening to every word you struggled to say despite the bad cough and pain you were in. And up to this day, I promise to pursue what you have asked me to do. Not because it was a mere last wish from my dad, but because even after you continuously keep giving and giving this family everything, it was the only thing you asked of me to do. If you were alive today, I know that you would be proud to see the many opportunities that have been opened to me at the uni. I won't list them out, for you already know what they are anyway. But hey, who's to say that if you were still here with us, we wouldn't be in Perth right now? I would be studying in Information Tech., and you will be back in school pursuing your lifelong dream of becoming a pastor, just as we initially planned out.

Mummy misses you so much too, She has gone back to work, because she has found an opportunity to do what she loves to do, and that is to educate children. She always said that even if they are constantly a bit louder than the average adult, children are always genuine when they ask questions. Bet you're laughing your butt off everytime you see mom have to instill discipline. :) Jojo has decided to pursue her Masters, but has been offered many job opportunities ever since she left NUS. I see so much of you, in the logic ~~and the temper~~ sense, in her. I'm sure deep in her heart of hearts, she misses you as much as we do.

The last Christmas we spent together, the four of us, I still remember it very very clearly. We were in the room, you were lying down, Mom was sitting beside you, and Jo and I were sitting on the sofa's hand rest. And.we.all.just.talked. It was the best family Christmas we had.

It's now 1.22am, and I have so much to say, but I shall stop for now. I know I have said this already, but I miss you so much. But I want you to know, that despite you not being here physically, what keeps me going everyday is knowing that you're still watching over us up there with God.

I never needed to say this,
Because you always knew,

But I'll willingly say it, ten times, a hundred times, a million times, a billion times,
"Dad, I Miss You, and I Will Always Love You".

And please dear reader, until you have lost someone as close as a father to you, don't you DARE come close to believing or saying this post is emo.

Dear Friend

2009-10-01T21:23:00.000+08:00

Dear friend,

I know it has been a tough few days for you, the reasons, you know why. But this is part and parcel of life. I honestly can understand where you are coming from even if you don't say it, but like you said, take this as one experience and thank Him for the wonderful time. To let go is a very long and hard task, but I am sure you will find one day that to let go is the best thing you can do for both parties. I do not wish to go into detail about this, but let this be a proof that no matter how bad the pain, or how alone you feel, in reality, you are never alone. Just come to us and we will talk about it if it means to see you happy again, just like you were before. Chin up, God would never let His children go through something without a reason. God bless and take care.

:)

Updates, Covers, MBO Review,

2009-09-26T08:31:00.000+08:00

Now, I realised that my blog, scratch that, I, have this weird trend, of posting a happy post and then posting an emo post after that. It sucksssss! So Imma try to minus out the emo posts as the emo comes along. After all, nobody wants to see an emo drama series when they can get a romantic comedy. *whuuut?

To start things off on a positive note, got chosen to do some oral presentation recording thing on campus. woot. Gotta shorten the speech down from 13 to 10 minutes max... D: Congrats to Morgan and Joel for getting chosen too!

I did a crazy mofo cover on FaceBook last night and it involved all the songs that have affected the process of my growing up up til this very year. LOL. It was fun and all that, but who actually thought that the transformation from childhood to teenager could be summed up by four VERY VERY familiar songs that I'm sure have musically entered each and every of your ears before. o_O

Chef Won-g is back.
Keith is obviously the guy. Sadly, the girl isn't back :\

Well, he's been back for a while, but the reason i brought this up is 'cause he was crazy enough to call me in the middle of the night( that was the normal part) AND went on to let me know he was outside my house. As I peeked out of my window, I saw his farking bright HD headlights bouncing off the road. When I went out, he was standing there with Mr. Ngeaw. Couldn't really tell who Keith brought at first cause when I talked to the guy on the phone, he just started talking with an accent. Details of the conversation with Joel will remain private for the sake of both parties. XD

MBO opened up a few weeks ago, so went on the 2nd day of the Big Open. Went in, wasn't so impressed with the lobby, but when I entered the hallway to the cineplexes, I almost soiled myself. Yes, I have never actually gone to the high-end cinemas in Peninsular or even Sabah, so yeah, I was easily impressed. When it came to the cineplexes, it was good. Seats were placed at very good heights so you won't get blocked by shadows of people's head, and the walkspace in a row was wide, so people don't have to move around when people want to get to their seats. And the best part of all is that, THE ROWS ARE LABELLED CLEARLY, EVEN WHEN YOU'RE LATE FOR A MOVIE. :D A good layout plan. And of course, the movie's Dolby Surround Sound is awesome, speakers ain't too loud or too soft. Tried a 3-D film. It was good 'cause the glasses are big(or maybe my face is small) so you can actuallyw ear your spectacles within the 3-d glasses :D

Anyway, here's a picture of one of the halls from one of the right-hand rows.

We're not really suppose to take photos, but hey, I never really did care when those rules come to play...
Salesperson:"NO PHOTOS!"

Op, too late...

Ya know what I mean? :)

August Downdate

2009-08-10T21:36:00.001+08:00

Damn, this blog is dead-ing. Hahah, anywayyy, I'd like to apollogise to everybody(who still checks out this blog) for making the whole atmosphere of this blog emo-ish. Yes, I went through a crazy uninspiring time and I had to let it out somehow. :) But everything's good now. Been busy doing Swinburne stuff and getting trying to get fat for the past 5 weeks. Honestly, all I did was just eat, sleep and occasionally go to toilet. There was a week where I didn't have any transportation, so, like, food input and sleep was increased twofold. :S Within those five weeks, I met up with family whom I thought I wouldn't see in a few years.
Gotten closer to cousins lately. Something not unexpected. Always had that special bond with 'em. And it's good to know that they're there for me. Don't think you're reading this guys, but thanks. Watched G.I Joe few days ago. AWESOME effects!! Not as cool as Transformers 2, but nonetheless a crazy butt 2 hours well spent! I was kinda lucky cause the seats I got didn't smell like piss and stuff, so yeahhh :D:D Go watch it! GO NOW. Anyway, will give a more picturish blog post soon. :)

Oh yeah... a collision caused this to happen.

:(
Rust in Peace

The Face's Disguise

2009-06-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

I don't know why, but it feels like, for the most part, that I'm losing my mind. If it's not assignments that's worrying me, it's bound to be something else.

I feel super stressed out, even if I don't show it. And thing is, I don't want to show it out, until now. It just feels wrong to include people into your misery, at least to me it does. I don't know. It maybe the stress talk, it maybe the fact that I haven't got good sleep in a while. I'm not sure if it's the 12 continuous weeks in college and assignments being thrown at any student from all directions, but not to say I'm giving up, but I wouldn't mind things slowing down. Even just a little bit.

I used to say "don't think too much" to a friend, but it just seems to be getting harder to do each passing day. Aiyoh, this blog is turning into an emo one. Apoo...

See, you wanted to know what's going on as of lately with the guy that makes people laugh? This is what is happening.

Doesn't
it
change
your
perception
of
me?

Forget Twilight...Swinight

2009-05-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

More pics of tonight will be on FB soon.

This pic, I like.

Nor Foreh! GEDDIT?

2009-05-09T22:49:00.000+08:00

I present the moon frm Kuching tonite.

Some say it was made out of cheese, some say it was hit by lots of meteors.

Anyway, this random post goes out to the girl with a big...HEArt(and also told me that the moon is big in Aus tonite).

On the other hand, here's a picture of one of the lights on top of me from IT Class yesterday.

SCRUBS IS MY GOSSIP GIRLS LOR!

2009-05-09T21:57:00.000+08:00

The song in the snippet above is from Scrubs' Season 8 Finale, The Book of Love by Peter Gabriel.

The crazy guy in strayjacket: Gooch
The guy with the blue scrubs(main character): J.D
Blonde Curly hair woman: Elliot, J.D's girlfriend
Bald dude in the slideshow: Turk, J.d's best friend
The Latina looking lady: Turk's wife
Tall guy that comes over for christmas wearing black: Perry Cox, J.D's mentor and "father-figure". he doesn't show as much love as J.D does.
Woman with him: His wife
Woman with wedding ring: Turk's daughter(in future)
Man standing next to woman with wedding ring: J.D's son(In-the-future)

The best underrated actor(to me) finished his last episode on the best thirty-minute comedy/drama series.

=(

Scrubs! 8 Awesome Seasons, filled with soooo many good actors, actresses, songs and full of so many things anyone can take and utilize in their lives . It certainly has for me. And it could not have ended any more perfectly. Awesome. Just plain awesome.

One example is this :

It's so true what Dr. Kelso(the old doctor). Especially for anyone who does not want to continue a great thing or even has doubts about anything just because you are afraid of the action itself.

AND NOT FORGETTING THE FUNNY PARTS!!!!

The baby's dam cute. Yes, I'm a guy, saying "cute". So what?
No more J.D. Hopefully there'll still be Scrubs. Heh

Pictures of First Quarter 2009

2009-05-08T23:25:00.000+08:00

The two couples coupling. Jason before he siao. Hahah

Brother damn interested in corals...

Bryan looking at floor...ahem... Delton sleeping??

Lol

Hiao Bin Raymond.

Eh guys, I think they blocked off the road because we blocked Charlie that night. Hahah!

Boring

2009-05-06T23:12:00.001+08:00

Time to update!!!!

A lot has been going on. Ever since my last post, had two individual assignments and a math test done. This whole experience in Swinburne is still kinda new to me, but thank God I still have friends and met new people that I still can stand with. Without 'em, I don't think I can go through 6 weeks thus far in Foundation. For the guys who've been with me since Lodge, I'm glad we still can meet up every once in a while. For the people I've been spending time with, you have no idea how much each and everyone of you means to me. Even though I have lost contact with some people in and/or away from Kuching, I'm missing y'all badly, and we'll catch up someday when we randomly bump into each other or when your asses are back in Kuching. Count.on.That

TSoul and Andy(ahermcoupleaherm) gave me the daunting task of doing not 1, but 2TWO surveys. So...
1 Who was your last text from ?
---cindi
2 Where was your default picture taken?
---home
3 Your relationship status?
---i'll get back to tht later
4 Have you ever lost a close friend?
---yes.
5 What is your current mood?
---content
6 How many siblings do you have?
---1
7 Whats your brother(s) or sister(s) name?
---Jo
8 Where do you wish you were right now?
---sg
9 Have a crazy side?
--doesn't everybody?
10 Ever had a near death experience?
--somewhat
11 Something you do a lot?
---eat
12 Angry at anyone Now?
---nope
13 What's stopping you from going for the person you like?
---absolutely nthin
14 When was the last time you cried?
---yea...
15 Is there anyone you would do anything for?
--- still too soon to tell..
16 What you think about when you are feeling asleep?
---personal
17 Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
---jason
18 What is your favourite song?
--- As of now, it's Kristy, Are you Doing Okay?
19 What are you doing right now?
---this lor
20 Who do you trust right now?
---Myself and the Guy up there
21 Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
-- KL
22 Have you kissed someone in the past week?
---donooo
23 Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
---jocelyn
24 Describe your life in a word.
---mountainous
25 Who are you thinking of right now?
---frens
26 What should you be doing right now?
---prolly sleeping
27 What are you listening to?
---tv
28 Who was the last person you gave a hug?
---pillow while snoring away
29 Who was the last person who yelled at you?
---her lo
30 Do you act differently around the person you like?
---do i? lol
31 What is your natural hair colour?
---black
32 Who was the last person to make you laugh?
--- sheryl
33 Who was the last person that made you sad?
---i hate to reveal it.
34 What do you hear?
---ppl talking around
35 Is your hair curly or straight?
---when it's short, straight, when it's long, curly lo
36 Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" face?
---wtf. no.
37 Do you have a best friend?
---yes
38 Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
---.".
39 Do you use smiley face on your computer?
---yea
40 Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
---yeapp
41 Are you happy with your life now?
---somewhat
42 Are you currently jealous?
---no
43 What jewellery are you wearing?
---nth
44 What are you doing on Friday night?
---class
45 Have you ever had your heart broken?
---yup
46 Have you ever broken someone's heart?
---yes
47 Is there anyone you're really disappointed right now?
---no
48 What was the last reason you went for the doctor for?
---sick la.
49 How late did you stayed up last night and why?
---12am, buying frens
50 Have you dated someone longer than a year?
---yes

tagged by tsoul
then i tag:
ANYONE

I'll do the other one later.

As for question 3...
Nothing worth having ever comes easily. That prolly sums up you and I, huh?

when u said.
"Stupid boy, I love you."

Dear Aaron: MY FINAL POST FOR A WHILE

2009-04-09T20:26:00.000+08:00

I knew you for so long,
And never did I expect you to go out like that,
The IM turned to an SMS, the SMS to a call,
That was when I had to face the cold hard fact.

You were there when I was down,
And never did you put you arm away from my shoulder,
'Coz you knew that I need strength,
And at that time, you were my strength pillar.

I remembered during the month of October,
You called me out of the blue,
We conference-d a three way talk and had lots of laughs,
The good 'ol times which were long overdue.

The thing about you is that,
You're a really nice guy,
You'd help anyone out, regardless of the problems and who it was,
And that's what's making it hard to say goodbye.

Your life has made a huge impact on ours,
Whether you like it or not,
We are the ones WILLING to call you our brother,
Because you were the one always willing to help us out on the spot.

From the purchase of a phone,
The problems in our family,
You stood up and led the way,
And incident-ly, laid the foundation of who we are today.

I know we didn't talk a lot when it came to just the two of us,
But that didn't matter because we'd still get along well in school or that institution,
I didn't know much about cars or the new handphones,
Yet we'd still have a kick ass time talking about anything from random mischiefs,
To pranking Moses in Maths tuition!

I miss your voice when you'd ask me to "just shove my piece down,
Anybody's mouth" if i didn't like them,
By god, it is truly the stupidest,
yet funniest thing anyone has ever said when I was having a problem.

But above all else, I miss you for you,
And the times we spent together, online, physically or wherever,
Just hang on a bit my dera brother,
We'll see you in heaven, and we'll all be together

To the friend/relative/boyfriend who lived 17 years,
With a story worthed a lifetime.

i know you don't like it when people point out your name BIG BIG. Hahah... but, i had to do this.

I miss you, I love you man.

R.I.P Aaron Teo
1991-2009

--

2009-04-09T13:21:00.001+08:00

Won't be blogging for a while. Last post of the term will be up soon...

2009-03-31T23:02:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry.

it is for the best
Sacrificing another one for someone else's happiness.

I'm sick of r-ships.

someone else

If there was ever a necessity of proof of a flat expression on a face, it would be the face I'm giving now. like, very piak-y.

Wake Me Up When March Ends

2009-03-28T15:55:00.000+08:00

When anyone turns to you for help, it always seems so easy to make anyone say "Thanks, appreciate it,". You make them have a better idea of what they should do. Yet, you cannot even try to fix your own problem.

I knew coming into this would have effects on you and I guess I never understood what it was to fall in, and then eventually, out. I knew it would be hard, but we both stood our ground, and we made it this far. Yet at the same time, it feels as if we are so close. So close, but still so far.

Just feels like our lives have changed so much that we can't even seem to last half an hour without not talking for the majority of it.

I think I'm depressed. Not because of you, but because of the change.

So I wanna know something. I can help people out through advice, but who am I if I can't even get out of my own all time low? I get the point that it's better said than done, but that's not the case right now. Am I a hypocrite?

Wake me up when March ends.

I can't stand another day like this anymore.

The Short Posts Trend In My Blog

2009-03-21T00:13:00.000+08:00

I made a promise a while back. And I find myself breaking it once in a while. It's not that I forget about it, it just happens. Lol. I guess someone inside me still can't come to terms on the conditions of what I thought would be easy, this time around. It isn't. if it's anything, it's way harder now. So much for great expectations.

A Li'l Bit of R&B

2009-03-18T23:20:00.000+08:00

Today's post is just a click away.

Hear You Me, My Friends!

2009-03-17T20:27:00.000+08:00

Oh well, it's done! Lol. It's the first video on The Covers. So, enjoy! :D

Lemme know what you think! =D

A Song For A Heart So Big, God Wouldn't Let It Live.

2009-03-17T14:44:00.000+08:00

WORK ON JIMMY EAT WORLD'S MAY ANGELS LEAD YOU IN HAS JUST STARTED.

i.am.slow.
Main Reason:
Partly because I didn't have a capo.
-_..._-

It's super-solidified official. GOODBYE M'sian Studies.
And for the first time, getting a C and a D is the opposite meaning of almost failing! :D

Stupid Pessimistic Motherf***er: SPM

2009-03-12T18:02:00.000+08:00

I ADMIT. I FUCKED UP. BIG TIME

Fuck la...

:)

2009-03-10T15:28:00.000+08:00

I passed and am road-worthy!

Road users, you're screwed. =P

Detonate Me Slowly

2009-03-08T21:57:00.000+08:00

It's weird how something as scary as a nuclear explosion cloud, could look as beautiful as a sunset. To me, at least. Still, it does not rule out the obvious fact that a nuclear explosion IS still, a nuclear explosion.

It's been days since the news, and here I am, just wishing I had the balls to go up to someone to talk to about the unknown problem and, most importantly, the choice I'll have to make real soon.

The Great Escape

2009-03-04T22:48:00.000+08:00

Today marked the day the Swinburne Foundation people finished their MPWs. Fuckin' woo! Been cramming every single fact of history(well, not evrything), and the paper today was alright. :D Gonna drive tomorrow with Pastor, but that's tomorrow.

Went out to eat dinner with some people. And it was good. The food was good, kinda filling. And the cake, apoo man. I was already full when the pizza look-a-like food came out, then came the cake. :S
Nonetheless, I ate everything. Been a while since I ate seafood, so yeah. Guess it was 'coz I was feverish today.

Had to follow Dre to the seafood area and all that, so went to Club to meet him.

Then Sheryl came.

On the way from getting the cake at Satok, we used the toll way to get to Pending. Not knowing that we'd get lost and ended up driving all the way from the fountain roundabout to some kampung. We realized we were on the wrong road after going straight for a looooooooooong time, hoping that there'd be a roundabout, which we were looking for. But it just went on and on and on...
The realization period. Watch it. Andre asks, i realize, everybody realizes, Andre questions, I answer, he asks again, I answer again, Sheryl does nuffin' but laughs only.

Finally, we went back and found the toll, after going one full round at a roundabout. Lol. To our surprise, we were the first to be at the restaurant. Everybody came. We talked, shrieked, laughed(especially Desmond. He had a moment) and ate good food and had a good time. Never really seen us guys this happy before, like as in everybody. It was a good nght. :D

Ambrose and his belated birthday cake.

After everything, we stopped by at a nearby petrol station. Needed to take a leak. Lol. First time I've seen so many dead mosquitoes just laying on the sink. Hahah.

While I was pumping out, Andre was pumping gas.

Bought somethin' at the station, and was so happy that everytime Andre hit a bump, I didn't have the urge of peeing anymore. Lol.

Not a very wordy night, but a night full of stupid things. Stupid things that this stupid boy will never stupid.

O_O

I mean, forget. Heh. have a great holiday guys! See ya in March(Technically, it's already March, but to say "See ya on March blabla," wouldn't be as fitting as an ending to my initial ending.)

Um, heh?

Today Is Blah

2009-03-03T18:48:00.000+08:00

Thus, it has started raining again. And it's already March. Don't really remember the average weather for March last year, but was the rain this heavy? :S Maybe I missed the rain or smthin, but yeah.

At the same time, the rain, it's actually great to have a rainy night.

'Specially when your day's so blah

So Please, I Can't Face This Truth

2009-03-01T23:27:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Ambrose!

You ever notice that moms can be soooo random at times? Like, just this morning, my mom was telling me about different types of salt! That was after I asked her what type of salt I should get from Choice Premier. Got loads of info about salt, and what to give to the future Mrs. Song when she's preggers.[psst...Iodised Salt] And that iodised salt actually minimizes or prevents or slows down goitre or something. Go figure. Didn't think I'd learn so much about salt in a few minutes. Hahah

So, February is officially over. And with February ended, so has my MPW course. It's strange because I was beginning to like having to wake up at 7 for an 8.30 class and almost-constantly showing up at 8.40 and sitting in a class/lecture hall for no more than 6 hours. I'd sit with Sheryl, then we'd talk and she'd talk to Andre, then she'd get "pissed" at him, then she wouldn't talk to him... It goes on and on. Sometimes, we'd get to see Dick, Des and Joel, and then I'd meet up with 'em at the comp lab, searching for...nothing. Hahah! The lecturers there. Mr. George Tan's awesome. And so is Mdm. Shirley Bak. She's so patient, and Mr. Tan is so full of character! A great way to kick off the Swinburne year man...

Been hangin' out a lot with family and family members-to-be| *coughSTE- F- AN*sneeze |. honestly, the best part of any weekend is just having the company of your uncle's kids, whether it be a simple dinner, or just a movie you've prolly watched 99 times, and is watching it for the 100th time just because you're definitely maybe gonna enjoy it anyway. And apparently, watching my favorite movie, DOES NOT get old.

Initially, I only had one one one one one one one one one one motive to update, and that was to blog about the salt thing. Didn't thinkI'd go on. Haha! Who knew that March would come by so fast, huh? It's not like I don't like March. It's prolly cause Feb. only has 28 days this year. Such an incomplete month. No? <:D

Pictures!!

2009-02-26T22:34:00.000+08:00

Swinburne Presentation Day

Was looking around at blogs. And I came across one particular post from a friend. It was a picture post. Lol. Trip down memory lane...
Form 2 Era, Sheryl's house.
Form 4: Sha and I working out the song list.

Either that, or we were just posing.

Le Guys of Form 5
Didn't know we had this picture taken. LOL

It's Not NOT Recognised

2009-02-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

Before anyone says anything about Swinburne, i just want to make one thing very very VERY clear. Swinburne is NOT not a recognised learning institute.

How the hell can anyone say that when over 2500 Malaysians AND international students apply into Swin., with another additional 300++ more well on the way this March? And guess wot, numbers do count as a factor this time... So, if 3000 students go to Swin., does that mean these 3000 are paying for an unrecognized piece of paper which will not land them a job? That's kinda bull crap-ISH to me. I mean, don't listen to people who go and batter up Swin., or any Malaysian-located college just because it's... in Malaysia. I know people who do go to Swin., and they actually have gone on to success.

I admit, Swinburne isn't AS recognized as other higher learning institutions, but there's a difference between not being recognised and not being as recognised.

If you don't wanna take what i have to say into consideration, I invite you to wait for 3 years. 'Cause when 2012 comes, and assuming I'm still on this planet, I'll personally prove it to you that Swinburne is recognisable.

just.watch.me

And, respect the deicisons we make. We never said anything about yours in the first place.

My Heart Cover

2009-02-21T18:48:00.000+08:00

My new cover!

It's not any request. just did it for fun. And yes, the video is slower than the audio. Lagg....

But, from now onwards, my covers are gonna be clearer both instrumentally and vocally. Somethin like this cover. Anyway, enjoy it. Hope it doesn't kill you.

;)

A Wordy Post

2009-02-17T14:35:00.000+08:00

YESSS!!!!

Assignments finished and handed in! Been burning the midnight oil and adding an extra cup of 2 or 3 more hours of oil the past week to complete them. And after sending it to the 3 Cent Shop for binding, it is a done deal. I"M FREE OF PAPERS until I start my actual course. =.=''

Few days ago, Stef left to NZ. Few of us went up to the airport to send her off. Ate my brekafast there, was given a Pokeball and ate sour strips.

Finished it two days later. Lol

Recently, my microphone was down, thus not allowing me to attempt any song covers. While i was clearing my comp's memory, I found out that my recording device chosen in Windows was set back to the default device, which is my HD Audio input stuff(nerd talking). So, I changed it back to the webcam, and tried recording sth. *voala, it works again! So just check back soon 'coz I'm gonna be uploading like shit. And to those whom I've promised to cover certain songs, your requests will be done soon.

At the moment, trying to find a suitable software, apart from Audacity, to record. Any recommendations?

I wanna watch Bride Wars. Lol. Anyone know if it's good?

Baha Men

2009-02-15T09:53:00.000+08:00

Ahha! great night! :)

Went to Junk. Saw Alyssa and a few other people around that area.

~`
"I guess things just happen out of the blue" some says. "or red or black, whatever color you like" said I who just had to say that. =.=''''' But hey, it's on baybeh!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Yeah, I'm done.

You want some more pictures? You can't handle the pictures!( Texan way of talking)

My first cut photo... Doesn't look like what it's supposed to be!!

Green House Gone

2009-02-13T11:04:00.000+08:00

I was in UTTER shock when my mom told me that the school I went to for 13 years has erased the school house I was put into.

GREEN HOUSE IS NO MORE.

I can't believe it. I know I'm not a sports person or one of the key people of the House, but I was and always have been a staunch Green House supporter, regardless of the fact that we were not as successful as other houses. And this is just shocking.

Green House, along with Red, Blue and Yellow house were the founding houses established by the administration in Lodge when the institute was founded and defuncting the House is like taking away a part of the school's history. There are bound to be mixed reaction among the students who were Green house-rs. but as one of the Alumni of the year 2008, I'm just...shocked.

So now, there are once again, four houses: Yellow, Red, Blue and Purple.

Goodbye Green House.

O_O

Shocked to fuck.

Planet Shakers!

2009-02-12T20:51:00.000+08:00

Effin sleepy

Nuffin much has been going on in my life. The only big thing that's happening soon is the Planet Shakers thing. Always had a good time when they came to Kuching.

ARE YOU GOING?

Assignments, assignments, assignments.

After dropping BM as one of the subjects I won't be taking under MPW in Swinburne, was informed that my request to drop the subject was never officialized, and for some reason, my name's still on the list. =.='' Gotta check back with 'em tomorrow. Typing this as a reminder to myself.

Ohmaigawd, you have no idea how many times I pressed backspace in this post. So many typos. No, IT'S MORE THAN USUAL OKAY? =S

I'm fair-skinned and make a lot of typos.

O_O

That's my cue to end this post in result of my fatigue level exceeding normal heights.

*checks phone

Zowie and her cuz, Clay. Clay's birthday.

DOULOS! Now I know what you're thinking, but GBA does not stand for Game Boy Advance, it's God Bless America.

Last paper of the second term exam in Lodge last year.
Dick's back and the colorful Cikgu Sawi.

The random Sushi king train.

I, Stefanie and her phone. She's leaving to NZ this Sunday. =S Damn.

Until next time!

2009-02-05T22:16:00.000+08:00

So i was reading someone's blog a few minutes ago, and it got me thinking.

Within the next few days, or to be exact, a week and two days from now(i know this because i'm constantly reminded by Star World's Valentine Marathon ad), the world as we know it, will be filled with some people buying flowers, using up ink to write secret love notes and the infamous usage of money to go on a special date. And for some special cases, the 14th of February is when new relationships come alive and the day when the man gets down on one knee, and this time, not for the reason of tying his shoe.

Valentine's Day

For me, I've never really been able to remember Valentine's Day until someone in my class asks me, "Eh, you know where to buy flowers?". And now that school's over, don't think that there's such a reminder anymore in Swinburne. Hahah. Then again, there's Wayne...so...

...

As far as I can remember, V-Day was on a school day ever since I was in Form 1. And you can bet that there'd be people coming into class carrying a bag from Memory Lane, or Ferrero Rocher inside their bag. And if you thought that was cool, during lunch breaks, there'd be people sending in flowers. MANY MANY flowers sometimes. And the day of studying would be crushed and destroyed by the love that's circulating the whole class.

I get the idea of V-Day, and it is kinda neat to go out, and see so many people smiling. Kinda makes u smile too, you know?

This post has no point. I don't know why i'm writing this. lol..

What's Been Going Down & A Falling Through

2009-01-31T22:50:00.000+08:00

So, after a week of eating, and avoiding sore throat, this must have been my most active CNY.

Went up to Batu Kawa, almost wanted to go Sematan, witnessed my sister miss her flight, did the most risky betting ever, and caught a nice ending to this week on cam.

Went out with these two dark, FOREIGN people. Lol. It's been almost a year since I hung out with these two. it was great fun, and Sidney's house is really lucky. Well, for me la. Not for him. Sadly. Lol!!

On the same day Sarah left for Auckland, Franklin, Sid and I went visiting after that. Surprisingly, Frank and I were still energetic. We both woke up at 4.30 that morning. Lol! Went breakfast with a few people. After being grossed out, didn't really enjoy my breakfast... All i can say is "YUCKY!"

I think it was 5 smthing? I think...

Stef's house was a blast. Won some money, but still lost like 2 bucks to Sid. =.=''

But it was alright because the night before I won twelve bucks from him! =D

He wasn't smiling after I tookthe money that night.

The guests.

Anyway, met up with Sid and Franklin a bit later. Had some guests come in, They ate, they talked, they played smthin' I don't understand.

That night, Frank, Sid and I decided to go Jamie's. First group of friends to visit! AHAH! jamie has really nice pots... and bottles...

*As in the one to keep her alcohol... very antique but nice... Ok, everything sounds wrong. I'll just cut and paste some pictures from her house. -.-

Tan Jer Hui, the future Mrs. Amy Ting! AHAHA! Jk la...

The Starbucks Club! :D and franklin. D:>

Then, we went to get Dani and Amy to go to Spring. I was kinda tipped over, so, Starbucks helped me get back to something like normal status.

After that, went to Amy's house just for a regular night outside at her porch, eating pizza with Sidney, Franklin and Miss Basiuk. We just sat, and talk, and told each other stupid lame jokes... EXAMPLE: "HALLLAO FWONG!" Hahahah!! *An inside joke* AND IT IS FUN OK? Nothing beats staying out with great friends, ya know?

Slept well that night. =)

Woke up next afternoon. Totally forgot that was going to Zoe's. Thank you Agnes for the message! Hahaha... So, went up with the likes of Agnes herself*duh, Fion and Joash. In a limo! We got lost, 'cause the pai wasn't clear or something like that. Well, we eventually found the house and we stayed til 5 smthin.? Really nice house too... Went out later...and that's it.

Went to visit Fion's house with Joash a few days later.

Again, another nice place. i like it because it's got orange-yellow lights. Yeahhh... OH. As you all already may know, Fion's sister is, as usual, dammnnnn cute. She can make you smile by just the slightest fall back into her crib. =D

Agnes came too! But left, then came back. Aaron, Dick and Des were some of the others who came too!

Look Sarah, a paper bag! Going green as planned!

Then, came yesterday, when Amy, Ec, Franklin and I went to Spring. I wamnted to buy shirts, so yeah. Ended up buying three FOS shirts... Slightly cheaper compared to other shirts...and I like 'em, so yeah. Lol. The group came back to my house after that and stayed awhile.

Franklin's damn cool MacBook. With cool blue cooling pad! WAH! *Claps!
*You ever wonder where the bit of apple that was bitten off went?
Stinjy Steve Jobbs! Giving us 7/8 of an apple. -.-''
EC was so hyper last night. And THIS is one of the very rare pictures of EC that she allows for me to take. Well, she didn't know, so yeah. Hahaha...

We played the PS2 for a while. And shit, so damn fun to see people scold Franklin for missing someone who's shooting right in front of him and to see Amy shriek everytime the guy she's playing falls 100 feet to his animated pixelized death.

Then, everyone left.

The perfect ending to the perfect CNY.

Yes, it's a Kuching sunset.

No, it wasn' taken recently. Was actually taken on November. Lol

But it personifies what this year's CNY meant to me.

Beautiful & Just So Damn Unexpected

YouTube Update

2009-01-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

NEXT COVER: COME WHAT MAY from Moulin Rouge

FOLLOWING COVER: Collab with AMY LAU

THIS POST IS TO BE RE-EXAMINED, REFINED AND REPOSTED.

Flight to Auckland's Last Call

2009-01-27T00:12:00.001+08:00

Wow.

You're gonna be gone in eight hours time.

I can't say anything right now, because nothing i say will equal up to the shock I'm still in.

The ironic thing is that, it's the same shock that was with me ever since you told me you were leaving.

O_O

8(

Sad. =(

I can't believe you're going away,
When just a few months ago, you promised that you'll stay,
Honestly the only way i avoided being sad was just looking away at,
The fact that there'd be no more "you" to physically find when I'm sad.

Dear friend, you've been through it all, in life's ups and in the slums,
And you've so willingly given me your experiences to prevent me from landing in the dump,
And even when I have no choice but to switch my rise to a pathetic crawl,
You'd be there to ensure I carry on and rise from the fall.

How long have we known each other?
Was it from Kindy or a friendship born out of business between our fathers?
Eighteen years since then,
Don't think I've ever cursed God for the coincidential introduction between you and the WHITE PALE man[can you guess who? =.=].

Dear friend, I wish you luck to go and get what you're looking for there in N-Zee,
Including one of your primary motives, to get fit and lose a couple of kg,
Be careful when meeting new people, always keep your guard,
If some dude decides to play a fool out of you, just kick them balls of Sir Retard.

Look at me, getting all sad,
As if you're already in that other piece of land,
Kinda sucks to know the discomfort of knowing you're leaving is actually a borrow,
From myself, who's lending part of the sorrow which i'll feel when I see you walk into the terminal eight hours from now to follow.

No goodbyes will be said FOR NOW,
I'll see you at the place where the eagles sore, there, I will say "chao",
Just know that despite the fact that it has probably been a million times since you first made fun of my pale skin colour,
I can truly say you're one of ther very very very very few people I can call "my sister".

Take care Sarah.

<='(

Piu Piu!

2009-01-26T02:15:00.000+08:00

Couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd just do a quick post...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Year of the Ox baby!

Yesterday was just a normal day with a bit of over-the-top cleaning added into it. Been clearing up things back at the house, with the water jet. FUN. Lol... then, arranged the shelves, went to bath, just to go back to cleaning up. I bathed 5 times, with each time hoping that I would stay clean for at least another few more hours without getting sweaty. -.-''

Oh and am watching Slumdog Millionaire at the moment. It ain't bad at all. But it isn't one of those kinda movies where some teens will just sit down and watch the thing like House Bunny[But still House Bunny's a good movie to watch :)] Slumdog's a movie about this Indian kid and his life growing up in the slums of Bombay, or what is now known to be Mumbai City. He manages to get himself unto India's version of Who Wants to be A Millionaire, but gets accused of cheating, as people began to wonder how a slumdog like himself could get so close to a million bucks, or 20 million rupees. This movie also touches on friendships, relationships and the hardships life brings for an average Indian boy brought up in the slums and on his own. Just watch it.

It's 2.30 am. O_O

*looks around

What now?

Buh-bye!

2009-01-25T09:41:00.000+08:00

Alyssa Chua left to Aus. yesterday. Damn, I thought Aaron was gonna cry, but he stood his ground.

Anyway, all the best to her there!

Somethin I caught while at mcD's. Hahah... Crazy guys! Go on and watch it!

The Let-Down?

2009-01-24T08:52:00.000+08:00

*I am not depressening. -.- No such word. Haha... I just...decided to touch on this. And it's my p-o-v(point-of-view). I'm sure everyone has their own, and forwardly would like to say that i respect everyone's respective opinion on this.

You remember that feeling when you were let down for the first time? Whether it was during an exam, when your parents didn't want to buy you THAT toy when you were younger, or even by a friend? People will tell you after that very first time, you're bound to be immune by future let-downs and whatnot, and you'll be able to bounce back way easier everytime it happens.

So is it the fact that one knows that no one can be trusted and so he/she doesn't put in as much effort into a certain thing so that when the eventual let-down happens, it won't feel that bad? End-result: He/She doesn't let that person even have a chance to build the foundations of a let-down?

Or is it the fact that he/she doesn't mind what the long term effect is, just as long as he/she can fully experience the short-term pleasure(not that pleasure), because in the end, even if one gets let-down, they've already been brainwashed by what people say about how what doesn't kill you(the let-down) only makes you stronger? End result: One goes on with whatever it is that could turn out to be an eventual let-down, with ony one hope that this would help them in life's adversaries in the future.

So what would one do when the let-down happens? And what should one be doing? Should the indidividual shun away from the slightest evidence of a potential let-down, avoiding any feelings of her own to be hurt, or should he/she take the risk and probably make the best decision ever going against what might lead to the worst repercussion ever?

One thing's for sure. In the end of both choices, if the choice the individual makes succeeds, the utitlity gained might be close to endless. But if it fails, then, I guess the only way to get better, is to get worse. After all , I never said that someone would be totally immune to let-downs. No such thing, unless you're totally emotionally numbed out or over-positive. Personally, I have yet to encounter such people. So, I don't believe it's possible.

Just remember, when in a depression state or whatever you, my dear faithful readers are going through, youc an pray as much as you want for things to rectify itself. You have the choice of waiting for a miracle to happen, which I sincerely believe do happen once in a while,

or you can come out and realize you were never given a solution.

But an opportunity to find that missing puzzle piece.

Sometimes you just don't have to look with your eyes, ya know? :)

What would you do?

I've used "he/she" so many times that it sounds as if , if there was a person i was referring to, it's a transvestite

In the Works...But I Need Your Opinion

2009-01-20T23:39:00.000+08:00

Hey! So I need your help. Yes, YOU.

Was just messing around with words, and I was wondering if you guys had any input. Lol, it's a half-written song. Basically it's about FRIENDSHIP and relationships. And before you sigh, it's actually a happy song. Hahha. Don't let the first verse get you down. it gets happier. lol. So, lemme know what you guys think. :)

Verse 1
I've been thinking about the times we spent,
Eventho' I know I shouldn't be,
But when was it wrong to look back at the past?
And how the hell did it all go by, so fast?

Verse 2
I remembered the day we first met,
Was it in kindy, or elementary or something like that?
I said "hi" to you, all you said was "cat",
And thru the weirdness, I knew one thing, that

Pre-Chorus:
Must've been something there cause you were blushing,
Then reality snaps back, and I'm back here saying,

Chorus:
How did I find myself in this place?
This life of mine is finally taking its pace,
How did I find myself with you?
I'm the luckiest paleface, and you're my lucky horseshoe.

That's it for now. Will be putting a few more lines into it. lemme know wad yu think about it. Good or bad or whatever. I appreciate it alot!! :D

Sleepy At The Wrong Time

2009-01-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

It's 9 at night and I'm already tired as hell. -.-''

Anyway, hello! long time no read yes? Lol. So here I am popping a few TicTacs into my mouth. Loads of shit happened within this MONTH alone. And this time, for the first time in soo many months, I'm not gonna be blogging ONLY with words. That's right.

It's a fucking picture post!

Sooo...I'm not sure if I posted this yet...
*checks blog history
...yeap, haven't posted about this yet. Aaron left for KL a few weeks ago. A couple of us including
this guy
this, as referred by Mr. lim Chee Seng, "gerrr"
a pastor
the other guy...relax, he's clean la....
the other guy's girl. She's clean too!
Mac-gan. geddit? Meh...
...decided to go to the airport and see him off. Sucked to see him leave, sucked even more to see our friends crying over him leaving. No, i did not cry. Not even when I went home. But got sad la.
But hey, he's coming back this Friday. Woo!

*Manly clap.

Wtf...

A few weeks later, it was these two punya turn...

Known Nore for awhile, got close to her startin '07. Knew Chang Mien since she came to Lodge, helped her with some audition thing we did in Form 1, but I doubt anyone remembers that. Hahha. EPIC FAILURE. But had a good time skipping Geo and Moral for rehearsals. =D Even though I'm not really that close to Chang Mien, I wish you and Miss Eleanore Tan Gold Gold all the best there, and I'll see you back here soon. And that I miss ya. take it slow, and everything takes time. You'll be okay!

And this Tuesday, think Keith's leaving for Aussie too. Sorry I can't go up man. =( Thanks for the carpooling to Club and to school when i needed it. Appreciate it bro.

As people go to another chapter in their lives, us Kuching-nites are starting ours too.

This is my story. Can't believe I'm in Swinbure already. And yet, everything feels exactly the same. Except for the fact the rooms are smaller, the attire is way different and that there is a necessity to use a lift to get some parts of campus. Currently doing compulsory subjects... and shit, it's shit tiring , mind boggling and makes you super sleepy and hungry. And we only have like what...10 minutes max for lunch. It's not even a lunch break...it's a just a toilet break which I have come to abuse by ordering fried tom yam noodles and eating the shit really fast. Not a nice image. :D

Monday to Thursday's packed. that's prolly why I'm tired. But I ain't complaining. Better than being stuck at home doing nothing.

Still seeing these people until March.

oops..

Des and Morgan too

I miss this.

Kinda miss my school life tho'. But gotta admit after a week in Swinburne, gotta admit school life was kinda too planned out. I mean, at least with the 10- minute break, we're kinda forced to do time management.

I guess, you could say, a new year,
That's right :)

It's a new "everything", huh

And yet I kinda miss the past. :\

On the side-note, Amy's coming back
:) :D :)

It's Out

2009-01-15T15:11:00.000+08:00

Finally, they decided to make a music video for this song!

:D

And a new version! Not the new CD version, but a newer one! :D:D

Enjoy!

Won't be updating for awhile. Heh

Highlights Of '08!

2009-01-08T08:38:00.000+08:00

*Picture Update Soon

Wow, it's 2009. Happy New Year to everybody! And maaf for not updating. Still kinda hung over from the fact that, from now on, when I say "last year", it's referring to 2008. If you think about it, you gotta admit that last year, was, once again, a fast year.

For me, (UHHH...ANOTHER STORY ABOUT HIM!)

2 oh oh 8 is and was the only year I'll ever remember distinctively, as the year of everything I wanted and feared. A combination of everything. It's like when you buy a packet of Skittles, some may like the red ones, but in that packet, there's bound to be blue ones, purple ones, black ones--OK la, no black ones. maybe the rotten ones or something... I miss eating Skittles

It was the year where I won a plastic round thing dipped in shiny brown dye, attached with the school logo. Didn't matter that i got third or that my name wasn't printed in the school mag. The fact that I managed to get that far was more than enough.

It was the year I spent a total of around two to three hundred ringgit on my phone, as it kept on mysteriously dying. Credits to Aaron for helping me to get it repaired. On that note, it was the first time I used a P1i. No offence to the P1i users, but FUCK MAN. Yesyes, Jesse's not good with smartphones. What does that mean? -.- Nore would understand why I said that. Stupid stylus. Hahha... It was also the first time in SUPER MANY years that I kept a Nokia phone. The building a condo game, ROCKED! Eheh...

It was the year I got up on the stage of my school to do what I enjoy. And no, it ain't addressing hundreds of Lodgians and boring them to death with my long ass speech. Besides, that post was filled since 2007. ;) i got to do it two nights in a row, and on MUFTI cum TEACHER'S DAY. The Mufti/Teacher's Day was super random, but yeah, still had fun!

Last year, I also began to get to do things I would have never thought I would ever do. Both in the good and bad sense. Not gonna goooo into detail or anything, but, if it wasn't for those small things I did along the way to 31st December 2008, I prolly wouldn't be the "me" I is nows. Bad english was one of those things... Lol

Guess 2008 was the year of friendships too. Ever since '07 and with the Arts and Science stream, kinda lost contact with a few of my friends who were my classmates for a while. Some might say, "Good riddance to those years. As soon as I came to Form 4, I finally began to feel comfortable...", but how can I say that when all i remember of those years were just full of laughter and shit? Not literally shit la... After a while, I guess I just decided to call and IM these very special people, and thank God I did. Don't think I'll make the same mistake twice. Going out with one of them later too.

On a side-note, 2008 was the year I got a 78% for a February Econs chapter test. =D Of course, thanks to a friend. And all that. Guess I needed that push, 'cause the next time 'round, I got my first "A1" in another monthly Econs test. Sure lah, it's not as huge as getting a Distinction for the term papers, but, I guess it gave me a sense of respect for myself, and that along with a teacher knowing what I'm capable of (for a short while XD)

Probably the sweetest thing that must've been given to me by the Big Guy up there was the chance to actually feel something I've always asked from Him. the only difference between my requests in 2008 and 2007 was that it was with different people. And I got that chance for a while. Learned a lot. Gave a lot. And recieved too. Not money lah! =.= From a third-person's point-of-view, one might say that I made a bold choice by risking a lot. I initially thought that too. But, you know, if i didn't take the chance, may not have never really seen how things would've been and it would've been the same story, just with a different person. To that person, no pressure. What's in the past stays in the past man. And THANK YOU for making me smile my ass off during the better time of 2008. 'Nuff said.

So, 2009...wow...2 0 0 9. I'm in awe of that number. Hahah! If 2009's anything like 2008 for me, I guess I'm in for a pretty crazy ride. Some people I know have left for college and there's another crate of them going off at the end of January. Bah... not really hoping on much this year. When it comes, I'll just take it like the chubby kid who takes a chocolate bar from the candyman.

Three cheers to 2008: One of The Two best Years Of My Life

So far.

Welcome 2009!

18 And Thinking About Marriage Questions...

2009-01-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

How old are you?
` 18 this year

Are you single?
` Yup

In what age do you think you'll get married?
` Dernoe. Not too old lo. When it happens, it will happen.

Do you think you'll be marrying the person you are with now?
` nah, don't think one-person marriages are that much fun anyway.

If not, who do you want to marry?
` Katy Perry wouldn't be so bad. =D Christmas Wishlist 2009! Lol

Do you want a garden/beach or a traditional wedding?
` Preferably beach, with pastor lo.

Your ideal motive?
`Get through the day and say "Ah DO!" and be prepared for life altering...life. -.-''

Where do you plan to go on a honeymoon?
` Always wanted to go Japan in Spring or some island. Haha!

How many guests do you think you'll invite?
` No idea. Prolly my family, both sides, her friends and mine. And one pastor/father. =D

Do you want an extravagant wedding or a simple wedding?
` Simple one with extravagant memories.

Do you want the traditional vows or something you'd make up on your own?
` Traditional. I'll just tell her my make-up one that night on honeymoon!

How many layers of cake do you want?
` Up to bride. As long as more than one

Do you prefer having your reception at a hotel or a simple place?
` Hotel

When do you want to get married, morning or evening?
` Don wanna go into detail about this. Evening reception cum dinner reception thing

You'd rather have your reception outdoors or indoors?
` if not high tide season and weather rocks, outdoors

Do you like a grand entrance for your groom?
` Paisei la. Hah! I'll just sneak from behind the best man.

Name the song you like to play on your wedding.
` I'll Be - Edwin McCain

Are you a morning person or a night person?
` Some what of both.

Do you want a solemn ceremony or a light one?
` Light one

Describe your ideal husband/wife?
`Just right for me.

Do you prefer fine dining or just the normal spoon & fork/knife?
` Depends on what we're eating...

Champagne or red wine?
` Champagne. You spill champagne on yur white shirt, it won't smudge as badly as red wine. And it looks so good!

Honeymoon right after the wedding or days after the wedding?
` RIGHT AFTER RIGHT AFTER!!! =d

Money or household items?
` Money please.

Who will pay for the bills?
` Split right down the middle!

Are you ready for married life?
` No

Do you think you will still be a virgin until you get married?
` Can wan la. =S

Will you always be true to your wife/husband?
` The woman I chose to spend whatever time I have left here? Uh...YES? =_=

How many kids would you like to have?
` 2-3

A new house for a newly wed or an old one?
` If possible, a new one. But if not, I'll just work my ass off for a new one. =)

What kind of cuisine would you like for your wedding?
` All sorts of food!

Will you record your honeymoon in VCD/DVD?
` Pictures will do. Hu noes la..by that time..prolly got Blu Ray recording! Fwah!

Whose wedding plans would you like to know next?
1. Jessica
2. Josh
3. Sarah
4. Sidneh
5. Morgan

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

2009-01-05T20:40:00.000+08:00

1. Put your iPod/itunes/music player of choice on random play/shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

4. Tag your friends who might enjoy doing this as well as the person you got this from.

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY..

Wonderwall of Broken Dreams

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Cancer! That addictive man!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Up Against The Wall! HAHAHAHA!! WTF!

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Vindicated

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

What You Got

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Let Me Blow Your Mind

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Feel Good Drag

WHAT IS 2+2=?

Everything You Want. Mmm..not bad...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

One Of These Days

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Half Alive

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Irreplaceable

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Jaded I like this answer!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

House of Wolves

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

This Generation followed by a "...these days. Haiii!!"

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Beautiful Disaster by Jon McLaughlin. Cool...

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Here We Go Again! WTF! Hahahhaa

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

I'll Be

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Better Than Me

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Fergalicious...some are wad!

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

Listen

HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Freshmen

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?

Have You Ever

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Blood (Hidden Track)...WTF

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Like Toy Soldiers

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

Beautiful Awakening

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

I'm Not Missing You

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

I Just Wanna Live

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

I'd Do Anything For You

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

If i Ain't Got You

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

The Man Who Can't Be Moved. Fabulous answer eh!

HOLy shit. Is it me or does my random songs fit into the questions? Kinda cool... =D

Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates. Will be updating a looooooooooooooooooooooong post soon. For now, I tag:

Sarah
Sidney
Jessica
Fion
Mercurial Dodger
And basically ANYONE who wanna do it do it!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Fine Day In The Sun Cover!

2008-12-28T00:35:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, just uploaded another cover I did. Go check it out yea? It's the first video in the My Covers section on my blog [ yea, the one with the pasu picture.=.=''], or you can just work your fingers and go here

Do try to watch the recording til' the end k? :D:D:D:D:D

And don't be afraid to comment. I won't effing bite off your head for it. =)

GOODNIGHT!

oF HaPpyNeSs and SmIlEs

2008-12-27T11:58:00.000+08:00

:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D
:D

I passed! Fcuk yeah!

On a side note. . .

Happy Birthday Eileen Sim!

It's funny that people disliked me earlier on in the year. Don't remember doing anything provocative to anyone. Doesn't matter.

NOTHING CAN BEAT THIS DAY

CrushCrushCrushed.

2008-12-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Click this to see my new cover!!

=DAgain, Merry Christmas!=D

Doing My Tags

2008-12-24T14:55:00.000+08:00

This one was tagged by: Fion who loves uu.

*Uu's not a real person =.=
According to your age (17), list down the number of things that most people don't know about you. And then tag 5 people.

1) I only began to eat those small cupped yogurt this year.
2) I hate people who choose to contribute to global warming.
3) I love TicTacs. Seriously, you buy me that, and I'll finish that sucka' like that!
4) I have begun to dislike watching TV, 'cause it's all the same show to me
5) Set up fireworks and set me up at the beach, and that'll be my definition of a night well spent.
6) I have a high metabolic rate, allowing me to eat as much as I want, and not gain too much weight.
7) I'm not all that shy if I know you well enough
8) I never liked eating cake.
9) I have a frog which looks like me. Shaddap Sarah
10) I'm frustrated with the fact that my webcam can't take videos with sound, so I have to take 'em separately.
11) I secretly like Geography back in school
12) My hair is a bit brown.
13)I'm nervous about my law test...
14)Most of my memories of people aren't in message or picture form.
15) I can't wait to fall back in love, but at the same time, I push away every single opportunity that's come my way as of lately. Call it sissy, I don't care
16) I try to hide my scars but am not afraid to show 'em sometimes.
17) I love chick flicks.

I'll tag

Sarah
Sidney
Ashley
Jessica
Mercurial Dodger

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TAGGED BY: Saewahh and Sidney!

Rules & Regulations:

Do not copy answers

Tag questions must be 100% same

Tag people before doing the tag

I tag:

1. Kenny

2. Clarice

3. Sukukia

4. Jessica

5. Dick

6. Angel

7. Homer S.

8. No air[You think who]

9. Fion

How do you know 1? (Kenny)

I dunno... I just randomly named this guy

What would you do if you never meet 2? (Fwish/clarice)

Less retarded. life during Form 4 would def. be quieter and I wouldn't get scolded by teachers as much if I didn't meet her. no idea where she is now tho'. =|

What would you do if 3 & 4 dated? Sukukia&Jessica)

AHAHAHAHHAHAA! So chun! Probably be the same as i am now. ;)

Would 5 & 6 make a good couple? (Dick&Angel)

Angel would kill Dick. Dick would be too afraid of Angel. YES, they would make a great couple. =D

Do you think 7 is attractive? (Homer S.)

O_O uh...yes?

Tell me something about 9 (Fion)

GIRL who drives anyone up the wall. Dances verrrrrrryyy well and bullies the shit out of me. Meh...

What's 1's favourite past time? (Sidney)

Blogging

What language does 2 speak? (Clarice)

Mandarin, Enggrish, BM, hokkien

Who is 3 going out with? (Sukukia)

The female version of me

How old is 4? (Jessica)

18 and life!

When was the last time you talked to 5? (Dick)

Few days ago at S'wak Club. He's going Swinburne! YEAH!

Who is 6's favourite singer? (Angel)

I honestly do not know...:(

Would you date 7? (Homer S.)

It would make things complicated...

Is 8 single? (No air)

Nope..she's dating Tiger...

What's 9's last name? (Fion)

Wong

Would you consider being in a relationship with 1? (Kenny)

Nono...

Which school does 2 go to? (Clarice)

WAS in lodge...going to nanyang next...

What do you like about 3? (Sukukiai)

His Hokkien is close to perfection

"I'm stretching, but you're just out of reach" - Skillet - Yours To Hold

2008-12-24T14:32:00.001+08:00

CRUSHCRUSHCRUSH IS THE NEXT VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!

KEEP AN EYE OUT!

Thanks FOR the 6 votes!! =D

...and have a great Christmas Eve everyone!

Back From The Bitch!

2008-12-23T12:03:00.000+08:00

I admit, going to Santubong/Damai during the Monsoon/Monsun season WAS NOT a brilliant idea. But hey, at least I got to see the sea.
O.O!

SEE THE SEA!!!

What's next? Meet The Meat? -____-

Hahaha!! Yeap...

The trip lasted two nights... altho' I came back down yesterday for a while to get my Swinburne thang done. Then, went back up. But I think the best night was the first. Had dinner with an old friend, and talked all night. Great night... =) As quoted from her, "It was worth the sweat."

o_O'' - Not a very nice image, I know...

Second night was boring as fcuk. Had to wait for the rain to die down, THEN, get up ay 2 am to try to sneak into the beach. But to no avail.

Couldn't get up on time! XD

And now, I'm back in good ol' 7th Avenue.

Think I'm going back there soon. Damai I mean. Too many things were not done there. Day trip.
Anyone...interested? =)

2008-12-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

Feels like somethin's been lifted off of me.

Christmas in Four Days

2008-12-21T11:00:00.001+08:00

--Super quick post----Super quick post----Super quick post----Super quick post----Super quick post----Super quick post----Super quick post----Super quick post--

The past week's been so redonkulous that it has literally PWNED every single week of the holiday.

Finally went to sit for the law test and ended up in misery. A FRIGGIN'

41 out of 50.

o.o

MCBMCQWTFFSATFW!

Meh, have to go back and re-sit. Yay...-.-''

On the same day, went to Swinburne, and is now officially, Swinburned. Enrolled for the Januray intake because I don't wanna use my real SPM results 'cause i think it'll be an eyesore. >_< Saw sooooooooooooooo many people over there at the Open Day. And my guess is that most of them are taking Business Foundation. think I'm the only one that's taking up M.I.T[Multimedia and I.T] Ah well, at least still gonna see them here and there once in a while. Lol.

OH yeah! My hair's growing back! I'm NEH-heh-heh-heh-heh-VER going back to that hair shop again.

Anyways, got sick for five days. Had no Internet access for awhile, no car. So, been stuck at home. I changed my old motherboard into a CD/pendrive/pocket-knife/pick holder. Lol... As quoted by Josh, I was having "the unluckiest time of my life". Hahah... Internet's getting boring, so don't think I missed much.

Haven't gotten my Christmas shopping thing done yet, and my USB ports on my comp is acting up again, so can't do covers. FCUK!

Kk, Mom's on the fritz hollering my ass down. Will post a better post soon...SEE YA!

Check out Gavin Rossdale's Love Remains The Same. Been getting a lot of play tme on Mix too.

December's Survey

2008-12-11T20:40:00.000+08:00

Stolen from Charlene

1. What's your favourite card game?

→ Heart Attack!

2. Did you speak to your mother today?

→ Yeap

3. Where do you live?

→ Kuching

4. How many months until your birthday?

→ 8

5. Where is your sister right now?

→ Should be in Singapore

6. Who was the last person you called?

→ Ah Soon

7. Who's bothering you right now?

→ Nobodae

8. Anything you're giving up on?

→ This survey is very familiar.

9. Who was the last person you gave your number to?

→ Sarah or Eileen

10. When was the last time you cleaned your room?

→ Long time ago, but I'm gonna clean it up soon

11. Who would you say is your number 1 best friend right now?

→ Too hard to say

12. How did you wake up this morning?

→ By knocking my head against the rail I think

13. What's the last bone you broke?

→ The heart bone. HAhaha...no bone was broken by me

14. How many letters are in your surname?

→ 5.

15. What are you excited about?

→ Swinburne, Damai, Bali, HP laptop, too much shit going on.

16. Do you curse a lot?

→Me? Nah... /_/''

17. Anything been heavy on your heart lately?

→ Nothing my heart can't handle =)

18. Do you drink bottled water?

→ I drink water from my house put in a bottle.

19. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings?

→ Months

20. Have you lost friends in the past years?

→ Nope

21. Are you open about your feelings or closed off?

→ Depends on who it is

22. What's the last thing that made you smile?

→ Scrubs

23. Last person you texted?

→ Aaron Tan

24. Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?

→ Night

25. Who do you tell everything to?

→ No one.

26. Have you been to New York City?

→ No, but I want to

27. Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life?

→ Doubt so

28. Looking back, did you ever waste too much time on a certain boy or girl?

→ Yea

29. Do you remember the name of your first school you ever went to?

→ Yup

30. Do you know anyone addicted to anything?

→ Yes. Many

31. Know anyone who's been drunk recently?

→ Yeah

32. Where is your phone?

→ Other room

33. What happened at 10:00 a.m. today?

→ Brunch

34. Do you know anyone by the name of Lee?

→ Yes

35. When was the last time you cried?

→ Many moons ago

36. When was the last time you saw your grandpa?

→ 7 years ago...R.I.P "yea yea"

37. What was the first thing you did when you woke up?

→ Go back to sleep

38. How many and what kind of animals are in your house?

→ N/a

39. When was the last time something bothered you?

→ Last night

40. Do you hate any of your ex's?

→ No

41. What is your greatest accomplishment?

→ =) *Ponders away

42. Would you rather stay at other people's house or have them stay at yours?

→ Anything also can la! Eh wait, depends on who first. Ahhh...

43. Who was the last person to smoke a cigarette in your presence?

→ Some guys

44. Would you ever date anyone with tattoos?

→ Dunno...never gave it much thought. A small one at the back would be ok(and hot). Just don't want a girl to have a big ass tiger all over her back.

45. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?

→ Hahaha. O_O I'm not answering...

46. Can you play any instruments?

→ Yap

47. What do you miss about your past?

→ I'll just keep that between me and the past

48. Have you ever had a song written about you?

→ Nah, I'm usually writing about other people. It's usually sweet

49. Who are you going to tag after this?

→ No one. But anyone can just go ahead and steal it from here. Did it cause i was bored anyway

2008-12-10T23:59:00.001+08:00

'

'

'

'

Why is I feeling uncomfortable about almost everything?

END

Skillet's Song, Don't Say Goodbye ROCKS!

2008-12-10T23:18:00.000+08:00

I admit: Dancing was fun.

Even if Henry and I looked like people trying to shoo off a fly while moving our legs back and forth.

Pictures of Ashley's b'day will be up...just as soon as I steal 'em from ppl!

=D

Credits will be given la.

Correction:Dancing IS fun.

Now I just need to get it right! Hahah!

TULAN-ED TO THE EXTREME!

2008-12-08T19:19:00.001+08:00

I don't understand why some people command respect when they don't even fucking deserve it. They walk around thinking that they own a publically-owned area, commanding that things be done their own way. AND WHY? Probably because they can't even control their lives at home, or something like how they think that just because they have so much control back home, that they can just ask people to do as they wish. WHAT THE FUCK?!

Here's a lesson for you, fuckface.

When you're asking someone to keep quiet, DON'T. Your friends are making just as much noise as any other person in the court. And don't go saying "Can you keep quiet?" unless you can do it yourself and not start going out in an all orgy laughter when your friend cracks a wise ass joke.

When you can't stand me, don't ask me to go to the opposite side. JUST LEAVE THE PLACE. Trust me, it's worth the walk upstairs to wherever the hell you wanna go. Better yet, go to the toilet. THERE IS NO TALKING THERE. And you can hide your stupid face when you ask someone to "stop talking" while you go ahead and talk to your oh-so-paikia- gang. Seriously, what ARE you goiing to do? Club with me with your badminton racket?!

LOOK around and try try try try try try try try to UNDERSTAND that YOU are in a
PUBLIC
PUBLIC
PUBLIC
PUBLIC
place. I have my rights to what I say and do, just as long as I don't say something offensive. I wasn't even talking to you, UNCLE to begin with.

If you haven't noticed, I fucking hate you. Society wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for rich snobs who think they own everywhere just because they have a Rolex. OMFG...an expensive watch! Run!! =.=''Fuck your Rolex, and fuck you. Chee-good-bye.

2008-12-08T19:17:00.000+08:00

Me, birthday girl, Stefan

Happy birthday Jessica! May you grow older and happier with Stefan. Heh

Left: Stefan and I.

I loike that pic.

Poooph! So this how it's like!

2008-12-07T22:41:00.000+08:00

Went to listen to law talk today. End product of 5 hours of listening to a dude go on and on and once in a while talk Hokkien, is two guys reallly exhausted the fuck out of their brains, with stomachache akibat curry Maggi Mee.

Went to PC Fair, bought some stuff, went home. *FUCKING SLEEPY.

Tomorrow's a brand new day, filled with so many things to do, yet again.
For some reason, the colour of the sentence above reminds me of Spring.

I need a break from this break.

SPM's OVER!!!! -.-''

18 more days til Christmas!

----------------------------------------------------------------
So here I go again,
Chasing you down again,
Why do I, do this? Over and over, I fall for you
Over and over, i try not to. . .
--------Over and Over by Three Days Grace-----------

Suak Cha Bo, Bin Oh Oh, Suak Ta Po, Pao Si Chio Chio. o_O"'

2008-12-02T19:49:00.000+08:00

*Credits to and officially stolen from Josh Pui for the picture.

Just two more. Just two more.

No Title, Just Words

2008-11-29T17:48:00.000+08:00

When my comp decided to not on one day and be reformatted, no word could describe how cheebye sad I was. All the songs, all the files. But the worst was all the pictures. For a very long time, my computer has been my personal picture album, my mp3 player, my folder. Then, when it died, a little part of me did too. Aww..

My computer now has only 24 pictures, 148 songs, and two and a half rows of icons on my desktop.

Then I remembered that I had two memory sticks for my phone. The previous one was a 512 mb stick, most of my songs from my pre-death era of my computer were still in it. And my pictures were still in the stick too. So, I just took a few minutes to look over the pictures lo. It was good seeing all those old pictures, from this year, last year, the first photo i took with my phone, and many other first-photo moments with people I know, knew and all those stuff.

You see, the physical presence of a photo doesn'tt mean much to me. It's the history behind every single one of them. MCB! I'VE GONE ALL PHILOSOPHICAL ON YOUR WHITE, BROWN ASS! It's as if every photo has a story behind it, whether it was...
Ahaha!
a very random outing with the three people I got close to within this year and last year. Aaron, Nore, Sha, Sheryl and I decided to go to KGS. They randomly called me up while I was still house hunting one day. So, went up there. Then, we somehow managed to go to Tabuan Jaya because of the dude in the photo. Went to Des's mom's shop to get a haircut. Fun times!

I still like this picture a lot
someone's birthday party. Alyssa Mona's one to be exact. Came late, and that was among the first places I showed off my one-hip phone to everybody. Lol. Was my first time up on a stage too. Bleh. Got tipsy a bit too for the first time. And almost got caught. =D

or just a really bad picture of me, which I keep because, well I don't think many pictures of myself. o_O'' that you know of. =)
This one, all i can remember was a realization about myself, a success at letting go and the beginning of something that made 2008 rock like no other year!

Some of the pictures were lost, and a few of them were really special to me, cause it was with friends and people that I adore, even though they can act like a bitch or bastard sometimes, I truly can't seem to let that get in the way of anything. And sometimes its' important for them to know that. =) Yeah, that was pretty random.

Anyway, i've come to learn that, even the computer can die when it's not even a real living thing. So, moral of the story, if you don't want to lose your stuff. . .

Use protection

Update: The siege on the Taj Mahal Hotel in Mumbai is now, reportedly over.
=D

Stop the Jokes, Start the Support

2008-11-27T23:18:00.000+08:00

First off, this place is pronounced "mum-bye", and is in India. Yeah, the country which has made curry a spicy symbol in our world.

I just realized that the Indians, not only in India, but throughout the world, have to go through countless jokes about the way they talk or how they live their lives. And the fact that, even though India is considered to be one of the two major rising economies in the world, it has among the highest population in the world today. To know that there are still people that need not only financial help, but a growing demand for basic supplies, such as clean water, that does suck.

And what has been going on in Mumbai City, India's New York City, well, let's just say it doesn't make anything easier for them.

Just within yesterday, the 26th of November 2008, 10 simultaneous terrorist attacks happened in Mumbai. The places of attacks ranged from hotels to train stations, but the media has currently focused all eyes on a hotel in Mumbai's district called, Taj Mahal Hotel.

Apparently, a group of terrorists have taken over the hotel, and a record of 107 people have been killed, with 300 plus more injured.

As I was watching all this on CNN, I couldn't help but wonder, what the world was turning into? i couldn't bare the thought that these people had no idea what was coming. Seeing it's a hotel, it's only evident that the victims are tourists, mainly from the ang-mo countries. I mean, they did not anticipate something like this to go down, let alone have to see bloodshed on what was suppose to be a business trip or even a holiday for them.
A train station in Mumbai, blood on the floor.
The saddest part is knowing that out of the 107 people estimated to have been killed, 95 of them were Indians. These group of people managed to work hard, and get jobs with solid income, and, the next minute, they get a bullet. And it's only ESTIMATED so far. But by the looks of the footage that CNN managed to obtained from the hotel scene, it seems like there's only more bad news to come.

I also realized another thing. This is their life. India has gone through a lot. And with that, it's people have gone through a lot as well. So from now on, I'm never gonna make another joke on Indian and other race's respective lifestyles and what not. It's not like it's gonna make it any easier for them to deal with their lives when all this is happening.

I seriously hope whoever you are, wherever you are, you understand what I have just come to realise too, and STOP THE JOKES and START THE SUPPORT.

It's the one thing they need which we all can give without them having to wait, a'ite?

Despite everything

Kinda makes me feel appreciative for what I have.

She may not be the best,

But God, she's not so bad!

Kuching, I truly love

Don't you? ;) Go green!

Restless Tonight

2008-11-24T15:41:00.000+08:00

Credits to Fion for the new blog look and picture. Ok, not new, but still la... I appreciate it.

Plus, that pic is kick ass man!!

My Cover-Up Grin Pwns...

2008-11-22T17:17:00.000+08:00

You ever feel like you're obligated to put on a happy face before going somewhere, just so that people wouldn't have to make fun of how you're really feeling inside?

The thing is, it feels like i have something that's not letting me be happy. And here's the catch, I have no idea what that thing is. It's the feeling where I just think that something's amiss, and yet this point of my life has never felt better, than ever. And yet still, something IS amiss.

SPM is a very big deal to me, and I'm sure to those of you who are 136 turning 17 this year. Maybe that's what's pushing me to get up everyday, study for a few hours, and after that, go back to sleep. It doesn't give me time to really stop and just relax. And right now, I'm afraid of relaxing, 'cause that "problem", whatever it is, will naturally come back to me, even if I don't think about it.

=\

The only reassuring thing about this bit is that, everytime I pray, God delivers.

Even if it's for something I asked, but truthfully didn't want to know.

This picture never gets old. I miss that house...

I Will Remember Your Candy Asses!

2008-11-20T07:33:00.000+08:00

Ok seeing there are people who still read this blog, I'll post up a li'l smthin' smthin'.

The idea of this post came to me as I woke up from bed this morning. I began to think about all the people whom I've surrounded myself with, and I realised that things aren't gonna be the same without them.

*Why the hell is "aren't" highlighted in red? No such word meh? Ah poochini...Wadever...

So, Imma tell you a li'l bit about the people that matter to me.

*Had to take pictures off some people's blogs, Friendster accounts 'cause my USB port in my computer refuses to work today. Credits to the original owners of the pictures will be given at the bottom. =D

THE BOSS, MY FRIEND.

Kuching - The first guy I'm gonna talk about is, the guy to the far left. No need look so far left la actually. He's the guy with the biggest smile there. Mr. Aaron Teo.

Known him since I was in Kindy( the years I knew how to "spake" Hokkien with ease, in other words without spitting too much =S) After Kindy, we were in separate classes, up til' Primary 5.

I remember in Form One, we were super crazy about wrestling, I was some old, wrestler, and he was--some other younger wrestler. We'd wrestle everytime in Science class, or when there was any open space on the floor. Hahaha... Can you really blame us? I mean, a lot of change was going on then. =P.

We got into trouble together, and we sure as hell lied together. Nothing much has changed, except for the fact that we've gotten closer, and we've looked out for each other more now. He's like that older lau-ho, lim pei style of brother I never thought I'd have.

And eventhough he doesn't show that we're close when it comes to me and him being face-to-face, there's this covalent bond that assures us that we are. Seeing is not always believeing after all.

OH MAI GAWD, IT'S FRED!

Datuk and I

This is Frederick. Don't let the attire fool you. This is guy is seriously very creative. He can change tissue roll, tissue and a bit of cardboard into a rocket. And a NICE ONE, OK? Met him a long time ago(when he was thin), and got close to him(when he grew...bulky =D)

He is an anti-smoker, and he has very fine hair. o_O''

Always went to him when i needed someone to just make me laugh without me saying a word, and it always helped me get through whatever problem I'm in, for the time being. Don't know what the hell is wrong with him la, but he's always smiling, no matter what. Even when he's trying to be angry.
Dick's first day in Arts' Stream

But still, it's best if you just don't "tulan" him, in his words. Hahah... Altho' he has a tough gimmick, he's a real friend, who doesn't give advice, but takes laughter and uses it to make people laugh.

Told ya he's always smiling...

There's a girl to the right in the background of the pic of Dick smiling with his hand gesture. Her name's Sha. I'm sure 'all know her. Sister of Mallek, daughter to Wan and Rose. And one hell of a friend to yours truly. Which brings me to....

THE GIRL BEHIND FRED

Over the years of coming to know her, especially last year, came to found out that Sha can virtually make anyone laugh. And she has always continued to make me go "Wtf", but in a good way. =)

She's gonna go to Switzerland or somethin' next year, and I'll miss going up to her, asking her if she wants to jam around. A girl with a great voice, she's definitely gonna spice things up in Switz! All the best to you Sha!

ANOTHER AUGUST CHILD?!

"I'm number 3, WTH?!" - Sarah

Yup, her name's Sarah, and no, it's not the person on the right.

I've known Sarah since my danger zone was still hairless. Her dad did business with my Dad. And apparently, we went to the same school, got stuck in the same class up 'til now. She's a whacky girl, who gets high on the over-consumption of everyday things. O_O
And because of her, I have a big ass collection of toys, particularly, Power Rangers.
I was Blue ranger, what were you?

Avoiding history, Sarah's been a really good friend. There has been already a few times where she's knocked some sense into me, both concsiously and unconcsiously. And I owe it to her that this point of my life is much more stable. So, if you're reading this Sare,(COOL NICK NAME) thank you...and uh...

CAN I HA' YO' NUM-BRRRRRR?! XD hillarious shit right there!

THE ONE THAT MOVES WITH ELEGANCE OF SWAN

Nothing will stop her from getting her drink-on!

This here is Eleanore. She is 17. She likes to sing in the rain with her arms wide open.

World Taekwondo Federation

She's a the sister i never really wanted until as of recently. Like the previous estrogen-breathing person in this post, Eleanore's been a great person to talk to when there's problems.

*Yes, I'm a very problematic person.

Eventhough she claims to be just a better listening ear, she does give good advice sometimes. And I don't think it's humanly possible to be close to this girl and refrain from bullying her a bit. I'm no bully(pffft), but I can't help say something that will end up in me being slapped. Doesn't mean i like the sensation of being smacked. Please don't think dirty. Too late...

I'd post up a certain recording of a certain someone...but yeah, I'm not that bad

*I'm saving that for my next post! =P

FRIEND HELL-BENT ON GOING TO UK

I really really only began to know Fion last year. Before then, I only knew her as Teo Yee's friend and the person who always always said hi to me. Think it was during the one week holiday during September or smthin' like that when I began to know her. From then onwards, found out that she can never stop talking unless she's shy, which kinda is a cool combination of characteristics. To be shy and talkative at the same time, I mean.

She's a good friend, and always could talk to her easily cause it was never hard to. We've practically been through almost all the highs and lows of friendship and being classmates this year, but we survived.

FUTURE BIGGEST HAM CHI PENG DISTRIBUTOR IN ASIA

Known Sheryl since primary One. She was brown, I was white. So the combination of both of us actually made Horlicks...=.=''

Got close in primary 6, followed by Form One. Hamchipeng Era ba. =D =D

I helped listen to her problems in school, and on the Internet, and all i can say is:

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME BE PART OF YOUR MANY MANY ADVENTURES IN YOUR LIFE MAN.

*It's effing hard to get a picture of Clarice anywhere...

--------------------------------13 MINUTES LATER-----------------------------------------

Due to infringement issues, the head of Clarice has to be censored with this camera.

Ngeah! Actually Clarice's picture had to go through some manufacturing process. She had to be...

Un-pop-ed to go back
to her original state which is:

Clarice and I were initially friends because both our moms were friends, and teachers. Apparently, I used to eat lunch at her house, learn Chinese from her mom, and for some odd reason, I still remember Clarice always had remnants of her kueh tiaw stuck on her mouth when we were still like...5. o_O

We had random weird moments, such as the CLARICE SPASM ATTACK and CLARICE-NoN-STOP-LAUGHING EXPERIENCE. Always got scolded by Cikgu Charlene for disturbing this young lass. Hahah...ah...

We always could talk about anything especially about things we both were too embarrassed to talk about with other people. Like Star Wars, and her obsession with LOTR, and manga. OK, so I'm not into Manga, I just let her talk it out. =D Gonna miss those times...She's going to Singapore to be a nurse. Doctors, be very afraid. Joking!

Ey Clay, ah mei ah.... Remember that? ;)

Photos grabbed from: Aaron
Sarah
Fion
Sheryl
Clarice
That's about everybody that's been great to me. The funny thing is that some of these people actually made an impact on my life, for the better and for the worse. The sad part about this is that I know that only one of the aforementioned people is staying in Kuching. Most of the people that i mentioned don't even know that this post was made for them, and it's alright. But if anyone of you is reading this,
I'm going to miss you so much, and if I had the chance to change how my life went within the past years knowing you, I'd take that chance and throw it in the bin, 'cause life couldn't be any better, knowing you. I sincerely wish you all the best in whatever you do.

Covered in the back, if you know what I mean9use a bit of brains for this one): And hey, don't worry so much about your future. I'm sure you so gonna do fine. if it was meant to be, then it will happen for yu. You'll be fine on your own. And when that fails to convince you, know that I'll always be here for you. As long as I have a cellphone, Internet connectivity and a voice, I'll always be here 4 you you you you you and you!

Don't you dare forget me,
'Cause I can't forget about you guys.

=\

Survey....APPRECIATE!!!

2008-11-04T02:15:00.000+08:00

i TAG: FION, SARAH, JOASH, ASHLEY LEE

1.Would you chew gum after someone else already has?
If i chewed chewing gum that was already been chwed, then it'll just be...gum...
2. What song describes your relationship status?
you And I Both by jason Mraz
3. How much does your dog weigh?
i don have a dog...
4.Are you a heart breaker, or the broken heart?
heart break kid baby
5. Ever been skinny dipping?
nope
6. Earrings or necklace?
choker too!!!
7. Who have you talked to most today?
aaron
9. Friend of the opposite sex that lives closest to u?
jocely--wait, opposite sex ha> hmmm...
10. Color of your shirt?
nt wearing a shirt -.-
11. How many years have you taken a language?
wad da hell? don udnerstand
12. Who’s on speed dial 2?
uncle lam
13. What color is your background on your computer mainscreen?
blue
14. Do you wish on 11:11?
i eat at 11.11
15. Good advice if you ever go camping?
Don forget yur camping gear
16. Are you A BAD influence?
me? nah!!!
17. What color are your eyes?
brown black
18. Would you rather have your name or ur siblings name?
ownage
19. Would you do anything for someone?
thot i wud, but not anymore
20. Have you ever been called a bitch?
BY THE PEROSN WHO'S READIN THIS!
21. Favorite color?
black, red, blue, white
22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
no =)
23. What song is on?
how six songs collide
24. Are your grades good?
suck
26. Would you date anyone on your friends list?
why not?
27. Does your best friend have a myspace?
nope.
28. Whose page did you visit last?
kim lo's lo
29. Last time you went out to lunch?
12 smthin, stalker.
30. Do you watch the Gilmores?
No. No TV!
31. Have you ever enjoyed listening to Jack Johnson?
Michael Jackson got la..jack johnson oso got.
32. Have you ever seen or enjoyed watching the O.C.?
once in my life. yes
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears C.D.s?
Y...Y...Yes...
34. Which radio stations are your favorites?
mix
35. Are you a Lost fanatic?
more of a lunatic
36. Still have pictures of your ex?
yup
37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
used to
38. Alanis Morsette?
nope
39. Do you watch Family Guy?
used to. too earli the mornin for me.
40. King of the Hill?
most boring show EVER
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often?
sry, don read.
43. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
only when mom ain;t around!! ;)
44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one’s home?
YES! HAHAHA
45. Have you ever watched a little kid’s show?
duh. i wasa kid once ok???
46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you when they weren’t?
;S Yes.
47. Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary school?
i dont think so. no
48. Have you ever liked a boy but didn’t ask her/him out because you were afraid?
Not that i can rmbr of.
49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life?
somewhat =D
50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing but a certain person?
yeah, i did
51. Have you ever liked someone solely because of their appearance?
itz called physical attraction. yes
52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis?
there's a food group now??
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization?
not a freak. but yeah, i appreciate neatness,
54. Have you ever been to South America or Africa?
not yet
55. Do you know how to knit?
nope
56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover?
yesh
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself and put them in a song?
yes. why? wanna steal em bitch?!
58. Do you keep a diary or journal online?
itz called a blog man...
59. When you open your closet, what is the color?
white..and many colors from shirts...
60. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?
never tried either.
61. Physics or chemistry?
iEcons for me pls...
62. Earphones or headphones?
ear
63. Pink or teal?
Tea pls! XD
64. Earrings or a ring?
ring la ring la..
65. Commitment or casual dating?
casual datiung, then as the relationship progresses, commitment. and if it really is somethin, full-commitment,
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars?
SW
67. Fly or road trip?
FLY. But now price of tickets are getting cheaper..bla bla bla
68. Starbucks?
Once in a while
69. What is your favorite Disney movie?
Toy Story! =D

Stupid Survey. APPRECIATE THIS!

2008-11-04T01:48:00.000+08:00

1. WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU HAD A BABY WITH THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
~ Well, I'd be freaked out, but if I was the one having the baby, I'd prolly scream.

2. What's the most important part of a relationship? Why?
~ The ability to love someone for who he/she is. If you can't do that, what the hell are you doing in a relationship?

3. Last person you blocked on MySpace?
~ Myself. haven't been on MySpace in ages!

4. Do your parents force you to go to church?
~ Nope. =)

5. How are you feeling?
~ Insomniac-ish.

6. Would you date the last person who posted this?
~ I don't think dating myself would prove to be sane in this...planet.

7. Do you say sorry first?
~ If I'm wrong.

8. Who's in you profile picture with you?
~ =S No one? Why? Do you see someone?

9. Name a lyrics from the last you listened to.
~ "Cause you're hot and your cold, you're yes and you're no, you're in and you're out..."

10. What time did you get up this morning?
~ 6, then 8.

11. Are you afraid of falling in love?
~ More afraid of falling out of one than into one.

12. What did you wear today?
~ Twigs and some shrubs.

13. Contact lense, or glasses?
~ Glasses.

14. How many windows are open on your comp?
~ 4.

15. What are you gonna after this?
~ Publish this survey

16. Do you like to cuddle?
~ I believe the man-way of saying cuddle is...sniggle. yes, I like to...snuggle. -_______-

17. How tall are yu?
~ Taller than 5 feet, shorter than 5 feet 10

18. Do you like someone? Does their name start with A, K, M, J, B, Z?
~ Yo!

19. Do you like hugs?
~ Like seeing them happen.

20. Look to your left, what do you see?
~ My broken chair. =S Don't ask..

21. What is the one thing that you would love to happen tomorrow?
~ Form 4 again.

22. Would your parents get pissed at you if you came home smashed?
~ They'd prolly have a hard time sleeeping with me as I sing "I Swear" at the top of my lungs in my toilet.

23. Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
~ Yeah, it would.

24. Do you think you've made a difference in anyone's life?
~ Yes, my own.

25. Is there a girl that knows everything or most things about you?
~ Yeah, unless she's forgoteen about me. Either way, it's cool.

26. Who was the last person you had a call longer than 7 minutes?
~ Mr. Teo, who just had to say "hello" to everybody last night. -_-

27. How often do you hold back what you are thinking?
~ Kinda often. Depends lo

28. Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
~ No.

29. Is something bothering you now?
~ Don't think so.

30. Is it hard leaving people behind?
~ Depends on what sense you're talking about.

31. What are you excited for?
~ Something I don't really wanna say right now.

32. What was the last thing you spent money on?
~ Food, food, and batteries.

33. Is there one song that reminds you of a certain time which you clearly remember?
~ Yeah. =) I do.

34. When did you do something you knew was wrong?
~ Today

35. Where were you last night?
~ Home, studying, scaring people, making people cry. Oh wait...where ha?! -.-

36. Last non-alcoholic beverage you consumed
~ Water

37. Was it a dude or dudette that texted you last?
~ Dude

38. name something you;re doing tomorrow.
~ eating lunch!

39. Does your phone normally ring in the middle of the night?
~ No. yeah, no!

40. IS there something you want to tell someone?
~ =)

41. Is there someone you'll never forget?
~ Yup. Don't you have one too?

42. Did you have any unread text messages when you woke up?
~ Nope.

43. Do you think you're too smart?
~ I think I'm too smart to be smart,

44. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
~ Obvously, this question has never been in love . o_O

45. Have you ever held hands with anyone?
~ Duh?

46. Have you changed this year?
~ I became happier this year.

47. Do you love the last boy/girl you talked to?
~ Yeah, but, in a way friend way. He's my best friend .

48. Is there a secret you never told your parents?
~ No. There are MANY SECRETS I never tell them about. It is secrets for a reason.

49. What's something that can always make you feel better?
~Letting it out

50. Have you worn the opposite sex's clothing?
~ Despite enormous temptation to try, no.

51. Who was the last person to come to your house?
~ A few friends from school.

52. Have you ever kissed an ex after you broke up?
~ Nope

53. Have you done anything in 2008, that you regret badly?
~ Yeah. No year is perfect.

54. What artost are you listening to now?
~ Until June. they're kinda unknown...so..yeah.

55. If your ex say he/she hated you, you say:
~ I'm sorry you feel that way, cause I don't.

56. What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
~ Move around in bed, find a comfotable spot.

57. Does anything hurt on your body?
~ Yes. My legs and fingers.

OH HELL YEAH! THIS SURVEY IS DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I tag:
Chang Mien
Dick & Keith
Fion
Sidney