I know what you're thinking..."thank God it's not another post about you being all sad and shit"
(skip to *** section if you do not wish to read explanation of sad days)
I guess everybody has their terribad days. There's only so much one person can take, and if it means that he or she has to vent out some emo post every once in a while to sustain a sense of mental sanity, so be it, right? Hell, that's one of the many reasons why people create blogs anyway: to say something, without actually literally saying it, ya know?
And who is anybody to say "ohh, you can't type that kind of sad stuff on the Net, bleurgh huh...*derp". If you don't like content from a certain blog, then just don't read it. Don't have to be a troll. SO, I implore anyone to use their blogs the way they see fit, bearing in mind the obvious set of COMMON SENSE RULES.
***
With that being said, I got another thing to type out.
While I was going through the whole, terrible feeling phase for about the first three months of 2011, I was obviously sort of depressed. I would get up from bed pretty early to do some stuff, come back, surf the Web, if not, I would be in classes, eat lunch, eat dinner and go to bed. While each of these activities happen, I couldn't help but feel angry and sad. I was confused and utterly disappointed in finding myself in this predicament.
Zoom to April, and things are a lot better now. Things with friends, things with university stuff, mostly all important aspects of my life are doing pretty well. Occasionally, factors which come from the outside will piss me off and, honestly, I kinda find myself not being as easily agitated. at all.
I had a fight with someone recently, and that led to the post below this one. Despite pulling off an image of myself being very down, I could not really feel angry or bothered by it, or at least not as much as I thought I would be bothered.
That's when I start to wonder, after months of crazy sadness, combined with the random packets of sadness I have encountered over the past 19 years, have I finally turned into someone who has become somewhat numb towards emotional issues?
Don't get me wrong, if someone I know is having a bad day and wants to find me for comfort, I'll be their awesome teddy bear, I'm just saying like, numb towards my own emotional woes, ya know?
It is sort of a good thing. I wouldn't have to get pissed off every time something bad happens anymore and I guess I can control my temper a bit better. The cons is that I may not be able to take certain stuff as serious as they should be taken anymore.
Maybe it is too soon to tell whether this numbness will stay or go away. Like I've said, the past few days have been good. But one thing is for sure, instead of wondering too much about this numbness, I'll just get to steppin' with life, see where it goes and if I learn something along the way, I'll be sure to share it over here.
Have a good weekend guys!
Will post something else soon. Thanks for reading!
2 comments:
I'd say it's just a phase. I feel the same kind of thing too, sometimes..it's weird. But it seems to come and go, kind of like in cycles. Who knows. Anyways, I just started blogging and I'll post about whatever crap I want to....that's why it's there, right? Happy Sunday night to you!
Well, I don't know but I felt connected to you as I read your post. Same terrible phase, all the university stuff piled up with no rescue, I was feeling utterly depressed but then Life remains never the same. Its a lot better now. Cutting the crap..(lol) Btw Hi..
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